The Time is Now

There's a Kid President video that talks about how now is the time to be awesome. Now is the time to show kindness, to do something good, to be your best self.

In light of recent events around the world this weekend, I'm going to reiterate that statement.

The time is now, friends.

It's time to let go of our pettiness and anger.

It's time to love.

We have been watching this world fall apart for months, even years. Lives are threatened and ended every single day because of race or religion or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. People are dying because they left their homes and went about their normal day.

It isn't fair that these things happen and, more than that, it isn't right. We see these events on our news every day and we ignore them or argue about them. We fight about who is right or wrong, argue about race and religion, but do we help anything by doing that?

The answer is no, people.

By posting those arguments and by choosing sides we don't do anything but continue to harm. To me, there is only one side we need to choose:

Life.

I'm on the side of life, what about you?

Not only am I on the side of life, I'm on the side of love.

I have been in the position where I wanted to hate in my own personal life and it got me nowhere. Okay, that's a lie. It got me depressed and angry. That's what hate does. Hate solves nothing and it only brings a person down. If we continue to show hatred then nothing will ever change.

My pastor shared an amazing message about this today. We, as humans, carry so many emotions and when we hear of terrible things there are many, many reactions we can have. We can hate and want revenge, but in the end that isn't going to help anything. The only way we are going to change anything, including ourselves is to love. We can spread that love, share the light, be the light with the world. Be there for those who are sad and suffering. We can pray for peace for all of those and hope. We can hope for things to be better one day.

Choosing love isn't always easy, though. One of my favorite quotes actually comes from the Harry Potter series (that should not surprise anyone). It's this:

"We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy." 

That's pretty heavy stuff. Choosing love isn't easy, but it's right. Hoping for something better in trying times isn't easy, but it helps. Forgiveness...man, that's a tough one...but it's right.

Maybe we aren't ready to forgive, but in the meantime there are other things we can do. There are other things to focus on than hatred against others.

As a Christian, I know I am called to love and I know I know I know it's something that I struggle with sometimes. But now, today, I feel that calling so very strongly.

Even if you aren't a Christian, as a human, we should be ready to lift others up no matter what the color of their skin, how they worship, or what they believe.

I'm going to try to do that this week. I hope you will too.

Meanest Teacher Ever

My job is great.

I love it a lot.

But, sometimes...

Ugh.

Sometimes you really feel like the meanest teacher ever.

Like today, for example.

First of all, this week has already been nutso. We were out Monday and Tuesday, it's a full moon, and Halloween is on Saturday.

This feeling has been building for a few weeks now and today it kind of came to a head. My class was working in centers after an extensive review or rules and directions the day before. So, things were going great until it was time to clean up and switch. There were several groups that didn't clean up and as I walked around to monitor the process I noticed that many of them hadn't even done their center work. 

Now, centers is not a time for play in my classroom. I spent a great deal of time yesterday discussing expectations and I was really hoping that today would be better. 

I. 

Was. 

Wrong. 

(This is where the mean part comes in.) 

So, instead of finishing up our centers we all sat back down and went over our expectations AGAIN. This time we wrote them all on posters that I mentioned we would go over every single day until we got it right. 

You're probably thinking I'm a psychopath for getting this pissed off about centers, but we've been doing rotations since about the second week of school and there was really no reason for the types of behavior I was seeing to be happening. You might also think that I put too much pressure on my second graders. 

Well, here's the deal: 

I don't. I don't put a lot of pressure on them, but I do have high expectations for them. This is something I mention to these students every single day. Every day in my classroom I let them know that my expectations are high because I know they can do it. 

Were my second graders upset that we had to sit and talk about expectations and center rules instead of being set free to do things? Absolutely. 

Did I still have at least 80% of my class participating in writing those expectations? You know it. 

My kids know my expectations are high. They know that even though we had a four-day weekend that our rules did not change. They know that just because it's almost Halloween they still have to act like small, respectable humans. 

Am I mean because my expectations are high? Sometimes. 

Will I lower them? I won't. 

There are so many things I want my kids to know, but independent learning is high on the list. I try to start that early in the year and stress the importance of taking their learning into their own hands. You might think that sounds crazy but I truly believe that my second graders can do that. 

So, I felt mean at the end of the day. (Especially after THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED DURING MATH CENTERS, OMG.) 

My expectations will remain high and I will continue to remind them every darn day. And if that makes me mean...well, okay. ;) 

No Man is an Island

I've been playing around with the idea for this post for a few months. Probably since before the end of last school year and I just couldn't find the words to make it work. I don't know if these are the words that are going to make it work, but I'm going to try.

This weekend my sister and I went on kind of a "spiritual binge" at Rock the Universe (a two-night Christian music festival at Universal Studios) and a lot of it was incredibly eye-opening.

I titled this post "No Man is an Island" for a couple of reasons:

#1: It's a song by one of my very favorite bands Tenth Avenue North.

#2: It's a song that speaks to me about life. My life now, and what my life used to be like.

#3: It's a cool title.

Okay, so I get a lot of flack from people who think I'm kind of cranky and moody and, well, you get the idea. Sometimes I can be those things, but most of the time I try really, really hard not to be.

See, there was a time in my life when I was really cranky. Like...

Mean.

Angry.

Hateful.

I don't want to be those things anymore, so I do my best to be...nice. A lot of the time I'm just really sarcastic and people don't get it. I'm working on that too.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that if I didn't have people in my life to keep me balanced I would still be that person. So many things have changed since my life was like that. I remember so vividly my very first evaluation at the end of my first year of teaching. My observer mentioned that my mentor teachers said something along the lines of me "not working well with others".

That was my first reaction and my initial feeling. Of course, we always want to blame others for our mistakes because that's easier. It's easier not to feel accountable for anything, including our own faults. It's taken me a while to get through that initial evaluation. I think about it every year when I start fresh with my team. I think about how we share ideas, triumphs, challenges...and I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I'm not alone and that I have people who have my back. 

I feel like this goes with so many other parts of my life, though. I love to be alone, but I know that it's important to have people to support you. For me, the change started when I began attending church regularly. It had been so long since I'd let anyone into my life that it was kind of scary. But, here I was reconnecting with my best friend, making new friends, and welcoming God back into my life. 

I know that getting back into church is way turned my life around. I know that committing to a life with Christ is what helped get me over whatever I was dealing with. (I think I'm mostly over it?) 

Because of that I'm able to share my life with others. Because of that I know I'm not alone. I think it's important to find your people, no matter where you are. I have a lot of people and I'm so, so grateful for all of them. 

One of the things that stuck with me the most this weekend was something Mike Donehey, the lead singer for Tenth Avenue North said. I can't remember the exact quote, but it he was talking about wanting to be used by God in any way possible and how important it was to not look down on others or judge others because we think we are better than them. I think that's so important, and it's one of the things I struggle with everyday. It's not easy to admit that, but it's true. 

I have people to keep me in check everywhere I turn. There are so many things that I need help with and I'm glad that my eyes are finally open to that. I'm thankful to have a family that keeps me on my toes, people who help me be a better teacher, lifegroups that help me be a stronger Christian, friends to be honest with me when it matters most. 

We are not islands. We can't do life alone. I'm thankful everyday for the people I get to do life with.   

Remember that next time you think I'm being mean.

That last part was a joke. 

Here's the video for this lovely song: 

Like We Were Children

I get a lot of good ideas when I'm running, which is really bad because I obviously can't write anything down and I also have a terrible memory.

I am Dory. Dory is me. 

A few days ago I was running and one of my favorite songs came on and I had this great idea for a blog post. Then REAL LIFE kept moving on and I...forgot.

But I remembered! 

I love the Christian rock band NEEDTOBREATHE and when these lyrics came on they just kind of spoke to me: 

"Let us love like we were children,

make us feel, like we’re still living-

in a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground.

Give us time to beat the system,

make us find what we’ve been missing-

In a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground." 

It's a little morbid to think of the world "burning to the ground", so I really focused on the "like we were children" part. Those are the words that got to me. See, school starts in just a few days and children are about to become my (our) job again. 

One thing I love about teaching is the way that kids view the world. At this point in their lives most of them are still so innocent and full of wonder. 

If you haven't seen Rise of the Guardians do it. 

It is so much fun to watch kids learn, grow, and succeed. That is what I am looking forward to the the most this year. Last year I struggled, but when I look back on the successes that my students did have I am genuinely moved. You have heard me say it over and over again: these kids change me. For the most part I am changed for the better. We are put to tests and faced with things that a lot of people do not have to deal with- but we do it.

I know that if I'm challenged it's because I need to change. 

If something isn't working I need to fix it.

The resilience that some students have always amazes. Students go through so much more than even know and it is a privilege to be a part of their lives (even if we might not always feel like it). 

I try to set goals for myself every year whether it be about how to lead my team or how to teach my students. This week my motto has been "less is more". I've just been muttering or yelling it down the halls at random times and people. (I'm sorry.)

Part of me isn't really sure what I want less/more of, but I'm working on it. I want more wonder and less worry, that's for sure. As a teacher I want to be able to see the world like my kids do; to wake up every day excited to learn.

I want to live, love, and learn like children do.

Simple. Fun. Wondrous.  

I'm nervous about next week, but I'm also excited. I've learned a lot this past week and I'm ready to get it out there and share it with my kids. 

I hope you're ready, too. 

Here We Go Again

It's that time of year again! The beginning of August, the cooler weather (anywhere other than Florida), and school supplies have taken over every possible store you walk into.

Every.

Single.

One.

Okay, not all of them but I'd still like to walk into Publix without being drawn to stacks upon stacks of Crayola.

Me talking to summer, that which I love.

I spent four days last week in a pretty intense classroom management/strategies training with about nine other colleagues and I found myself already invigorated for the new year. Of course, now training is over but I've received my back to school letter and I feel like I've done a complete one-eighty in the past three days. 

Saying goodbye to summer is so hard! (I say this from a single, childless person's point of view, okay?) 

Since the time is upon us and there's no turning back I took to Facebook to ask my teacher friends: 

What is your favorite thing about the beginning of a new year? 

Here are a few responses with possible explanations in no particular order except when they were posted. 

1.) New School Supplies: This is totally nerdy, but I love school supplies. Sure I cringe in July when they're taunting me at the grocery store, but I love them and so do my friends. There's just something about the smell of fresh Crayola that brings hope and promise into your life. Don't believe me? SMELL THE CRAYONS. New notebooks, new pens, new lunchbox, new backpack! It's all so magical. 

I also acquired some new notebooks...

2.) Seeing Their Faces for the First Time: There really is something so magical about being a teacher. I've said in other posts that we are privileged to be able to make an impact in the lives of students, but I've also talked about how they change us. (You can read by post about my sweet friend Sebastian here.) So many emotions go through you and the students on the first day of school. They look so cute in their new uniforms with all their new supplies! They're excited to meet new friends, to play with old ones, and hopefully to learn new things, too. It's also nice to see some of them on their best behavior for the first few days of school. (Also: FEAR.)

3.) Decorating Your Classroom: Right now this is what I'm dreading, but I know that I'm going to be on fire come Wednesday morning when I get into my classroom. I love learning new things about classroom layout and being able to apply those in real time. I'm definitely excited to take what I learned in my training and get it done. 

4.) Sense of Purpose: Do we lose that over the summer? Some of us might. I try to keep busy so I don't, but that isn't always the case. When we're working we know what's expected and we know what we want. Summer is lazy time. (I started a book blog to help me stay busy: Ash Reads Stuff.) I think keeping a routine goes with this one, also. I love being lazy and slothlike but routines are nice, too. 

5.) Open House: Open house is a great place to get to know your students and their families, and for them to get to know you. And, sadly, it might be the only time you see their family. 

6.) Putting New Methods Into Place: Summer is a great time for Professional Development, if you're into that sort of thing. I love (haha, kind of) reflecting on the year before and knowing what works well and what I need to change. Back to school is always eye opening in a lot of ways. 

Those were the main thoughts that my colleagues and friends had to share. The new school year is a blank slate just waiting for us to dirty it up with all our different successes and failures. Yes, it's sad to say goodbye to summer, but we also get to say hello to new supplies, new students, new friends, and- most importantly- old ones. 

I hope you have a great year! 

Thank You!

So, thanks to TimeHop I was able to find out that my blog is two years old! That's two years of me whining and complaining, and two years of you reading it!

But really, so much has happened in the past two years that I just wanted to stop and say thank you. Whether you are a friend, colleague, family member, or perfect stranger. Thanks for stopping by to read about my journeys into teaching, running, and weird random things. I appreciate all of you.

You're awesome.

This Job Sucks (But Not Really)

Friday was the last day of school and, as I walked down the halls during dismissal, I noticed something. The last day tears of teachers is what I saw. Now, I'll be the first to admit that in front of people I'm not overly emotional. When I'm alone? Psh. I cry like a baby. It could be about a book or a Publix commercial or I can think about "that one time something sad happened" and I'm a waterfall. But, in front of people? I don't cry.

Also, crying makes me uncomfortable so if I made fun of you on Friday please know that I'm sorry and it's just because crying makes me feel weird.

Here's the thing, though: I didn't cry because I am genuinely happy that this year is over. I've hardly posted anything this year because I really try to find the positive in all situations and share that knowledge and finding it this year was very, very difficult.

Now, don't get me wrong, okay? I had plenty of good moments with my class. I loved each and every one of them differently and I am so glad I got to spend 180 day with them, but it was hard. I said in this post last year that it was my best year, and I'm going to have to stick with that. If last year was my best, then this year was the most challenging.

The year started out difficult considering I started a new behavior plan in my class. I did away with the color chart and relied solely on a training I'd taken over the summer and my school's leadership plan. I knew it was going to be hard, but I managed it and in the long run we made it work. I don't feel like a color chart would have been helpful for some of my students (who would have been on red every single day, for real) and I think that students taken responsibility for their actions is much more effective.

It's that thinking that kept me going this year.

What's fair for one student isn't fair for all.

What works for one won't work with another.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

This year was a year of learning for me. I always joke that the thing that teaching has taught me is patience, but it's easy to point out all of the times I lost my patience with my students. Instead of losing it I focused on trying to be calm and using a soft voice instead of yelling. Honestly, the soft voice kind of freaked them out so it was a win. I also really tried to have fun with them because I think we all always forget that they're just kids, and sometimes they can't help what they do.

I definitely felt like I grew as a teacher this year. Like I said, it was the most challenging year I've had. I've never had students as difficult as I did this year, but I've also never felt closer to my team and my colleagues, either. I am thankful for the people I work with who let me vent, gave advice, or just agreed when they knew it was what I needed.

So, I guess am a little bit sad about the end of the year. I know there's always going to be students who leave a mark on your heart, good or bad. There's going to be your mini-mes and the ones that get your jokes better than most adults do. The ones that you could hug all day whose parents don't believe how good they are at school. And the ones that make you work for it: the ones that keep you on your toes, keep you up at night, and break your heart every single day.

Being a teacher is a privilege...but so is summer vacation. Enjoy.

For What It's Worth

A few years ago when I was teaching first grade I had this special kid. He came to me without knowing any English, way behind academically, and with a serious medical condition. My first thought was pretty much a "Why me?" kind of thing. I think that we as teachers feel like that when we're given something, or rather someone, challenging. So that was me for a few weeks with this guy. Seriously, why me?

Well, here's why. This kid was funny. He may not have been fluent in English and he may not have been very big, but his personality was huge. We would spend our recess time practicing words and playing around. He was so goofy and sweet that eventually the class opened up and began to see that to. Sometimes I even had to get on to him for talking! I got watch him go on to second grade and then I had the pleasure of teaching his younger sister, who was just as sweet as him. Eventually they moved and switched schools, but I never forgot either one of them. I still have drawings and notes form both of them that I can handle parting with.

Today I learned that this cute little boy passed away. My school has seen tragedy before, but I've never personally felt the weight of it. The death of a child is a hard thing to grasp. I can't imagine what it feels like as a parent, but I know that my chest is aching now. I feel like I put so much effort into this boy, but what he gave me was so much bigger.

Teaching seems like a simple profession to some. To others, though, it's the end-all be-all. There are plenty of quotes about how teachers change the world, how we make such a big impact on kids, how we're shaping the future.

Yeah, that's all true...but sometimes we forgot that those kids change us. I know that I'm changed every single year. I've said that in a post before about how they make me better, and sometimes they make me worse. But, better or worse, at the end of each year I am changed.

The kids are the ones making the impacts, we are just the facilitators. We get to watch them and, if we're lucky, we get to see them change the world.

I'm sad that Sebastian won't get to change the world, but I do know that he changed mine.

There are fifteen days left of school and, while they are going to be the most challenging all year, I hope that you make the best of them.

This is a picture he drew for me at the end of our year together. It is him with all of his family and when I pointed to the person in pencil on the right he said, "Oh, that's you". After a moment he picked up his highlighter and drew another person, then told me it was my mom. The fact that he drew me in a picture with his family always stuck with me. I am glad I knew him.

Why Does This Kid Hate Me? (And Other Burning Questions)

Total disclaimer here: I've never actually had a kid say they hate me. I have, however, been on the end of several angry glares. I mean a lot of them. I'm tough, okay? Some days I feel like the meanest teacher in the whole wide world; but I know that, for the most part, my strategies are effective.

I think it's important to be fair to all students, but also to remember that what is fair for one isn't necessarily fair for another.

So, yesterday one of my kids got mad at me and said: "My teacher ruins everything!"

You've figured me out, kid. MY WHOLE PLAN IS RUINED.

Honestly, I don't care that he said it. I thought it was a little funny, but I do wish that he'd waited until he was more than two feet away from me to complain about how horrible I am. I don't even wonder what I did to make him say that, but it does raise the question of: How is this my fault? 

I've spent the better part of the year working on classroom management, behavior charts, marble jars, and heaven only knows what else to make everything fair for everyone. So, yeah, he was mad. I knew it was going to be a tough conversation. It definitely wasn't the first one and I know without a doubt that it won't be the last one. That's okay, though. I can "ruin everything", but that doesn't mean I don't care.

One thing I try to focus on in my classroom is student accountability. I want my kids to be responsible for their own behavior as well as their learning. Yeah, I'm up there talking, but you need to listen. (Really.) Which brings me to another question: WHY CAN'T YOU STOP TALKING?

Oh. Em. Gee. We've been back from spring break for almost two weeks and it hasn't stopped yet. Sometimes I just want to do a mic drop and walk out of my class. Of course, I'd be sad if they didn't notice I was gone so I won't leave. You're kids, I get it. But like...just...shhh, okay?

  

Does that kid really hate me? That's a given: no, that kid doesn't hate me and I know it. I know that something is going on and that something is different. I know I'm going to keep building the relationship I've worked on all year and hope that I get through to them. Trust me, I've seen it happen. Even today I had an experience with another student I've been working with. It isn't easy, but it's worth it.

I don't have a lot of inspiration to give right now, I just know that I can't give up yet. Today was a tough one, I won't lie. I've been having a lot of tough conversations with students and I'm just kind of over it. I want everyone to get along and that doesn't always happen. Sometimes some kids surprise you, though. That's always nice. I try to focus on the positive, especially with just a few weeks left in the year. Sometimes those things are too few and far between, but sometimes they aren't. Maybe it's a hug, or a smile, or a half of a construction paper heart. Whatever your piece of positive is, embrace it.  

That's all I've got. Also: it's almost Friday. 

The Good Fight

So, I haven't been around for awhile. Mostly that's because I gave up social media for Lent, but also because I've had nothing good to write about. I mean, there are things to write about, but they're actually all horrible and depressing.

Yeah, they're all about work.

This post is also about work...kind of.

Yesterday I had to run an errand for my mom before I went over to see her, which is no big deal. She lives in a small town and I live in a slightly bigger one that has more than just a Walmart, so she needed me to pick something up.The cute little store that I went to just happened to be owned by my former second grade teacher.

I walked in feeling nervous and looking like crap (it was haircut day) and saw her immediately. Now, some of you might think this is weird, but then you obviously don't know how deep my love of learning goes.

There are so many things I loved about my elementary school teachers. Mrs. Johnston, my kindergarten teacher used to play Phil Collins during naptime. Mrs. Beckham had the sweetest voice and was never mad at me, even when I worked ahead on my paper because I thought I knew what I was doing. (I didn't.) Mrs. Reddish, my second grade teacher, always encouraged me to be my weird, little, seven-year-old self. Mrs. Holler didn't really holler. Seriously, I could go on forever. Even up to high school when Mrs. Garcia let me hide in her podium (sorry!) and Mr. Gibson helped foster my love for reading and writing.

The conversation I had with Mrs. Reddish (I will never be able to call a teacher by their first name) was very brief, but I left that store feeling a little emotional. How can you not love the teacher who let you be yourself and read you Charlotte's Web for the first time? I loved second grade so much!

And now here I am twenty-five (OMG) years later and I am in her position. This is terrifying. I sent a couple of text messages after I left the store to two of my BFFs that read like this:

I love my job. You will probably get tired of me saying that, but I will always say it. I love my job, I love my school, I love my kids. 

This job is hard. This job does not get easier. You just get better at handling it. This week I've heard my colleagues moaning and groaning over a lot of things and, trust me, I've been doing it too. We have four days left until spring break. We start testing our younger grades next week. It's so much pressure and stress that we all feel like we're about to lose it. 

I've been dealing with some behavior issues in my class that have left me feeling incredibly worn and even a little bit lost. I'm lucky enough to work in place where I can vent with my team and go to my administration for advice without judgement. 

It's after I've done those things that I realize it isn't about ME. Yeah, I want my kids to love me like I loved Mrs. Reddish, but I have to show them that I love them if that's what I want. I know there are things they are going to remember about me, but what I really, really want them to remember is that I made them feel safe and I made them feel loved. 

Things they will actually remember: 

Miss Veale loves...

coffee.

Captain America.

pizza.

Harry Potter.

running.

If they remember those things then hopefully it will trigger some memory in them of some distant conversation they had with me. I hope they remembered that I smiled at them or hugged them or we argued whether or not Captain America could beat the Hulk. (We have some weird conversations in my class, okay?)

My elementary teachers and those select few from my older years will always be remembered because they made me feel those things: I could be me, I could learn, I was loved. 

To me, that's what teaching is all about. Sometimes I fail, but sometimes I get it right. 

Every Friday I give out a Star Student poster to a kid who has had great behavior. I alternate between boys and girls, so this week I had to pick a girl and there were three left on my list that haven't had it yet. Of course, the two that probably deserved it were absent and the third choice is the kid who I've been battling with for the past two months. 

Anyway, I give her the folder. She lights up. 

She says, "How come you're giving this to me?"

I tell her, "I don't know, it's just because I love you." 

She seemed satisfied with that answer as we left to go to dismissal, but when we got back to the room she hugged me, looked up at me and said "Why do you love me?" 

Why do I love you?

Because I do.

Do I always like you?

Oh, hell no. 

Do I want you to succeed? 

More than you know. 

Will I continue to expect only the best from you?

You bet. 

Is it going to be easy?

Nope.

Can we do it?

We have to try. 

Happy Sunday. 

LOL

Here are some thoughts that when through my head today:

Ugh, Monday. 

OMG, TRAFFIC.

This smoothie is gross. 

I need more coffee.

THERE ISN'T ENOUGH COFFEE OR MIDOL IN THIS WORLD. 

Seriously?

Are you kidding?

Are you even listening? 

Why do I even talk? 

What am I doing here?
 
I need a nap. 

I need a drink. 

I need more coffee. 

It's National Pizza Day?! 

Ah, Monday, what a beautiful creature. I think everyone basically loathes Monday because it's the end of the weekend and time to get back to work. From a teacher's point of view it's like the beginning of the school year all over again. Honestly, I feel like every Monday I should reteach classroom rules and procedures because they've forgotten everything in the TWO DAYS they were gone.

Ah, kids.

Today wasn't exactly horrible, but it wasn't the best day either. I had a few new issues and some ongoing ones that I'm trying reeeeeeeaaaaaaally hard to overcome. I get it, though. I know (TRUST ME, I KNOW) that's it hard to come back to school after a weekend. I know it's hard to get back into a routine. I understand that there are SO MANY THINGS that are exciting going on and we can hardly control ourselves, but we've still got a job to do.

We have a responsibility to ourselves and others. We work hard. We are kind. We are respectful.

This is pretty much the pep-talk I give to myself and my class on a daily basis. Today I had to give it, oh, about four times.

That's okay, though. It really is. They're just kids and they don't always get the concept of being kind and respectful. I mean, if we're being honest, neither do adults, amirite?

Today I had a long (okay TWO) conversation about how to treat people, how to use nice voices and kind words and all that fun stuff. I even noted that I was NOT using my nice voice, that I was using my angry voice because, obviously, I was angry.

So, I guess we all had some weak moments today. But, like I said: it's okay. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow we will ride again. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

On the way home I heard a song the Christian radio station I listen to called "Laugh Out Loud" and I just kind of thought..."Yeah, okay."

Some days you just have to laugh. You have to shrug it off and move on. Not everyday is perfect, whether you are teaching, working in an office, or staying at home.

Life happens. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

You just have to get over it.

So, I'm going to get over it. I'm also hoping I don't get any angry parent emails and I'm going to eat my homemade pizza.

Here's hoping for a brighter Tuesday. :) 

Run Your Heart Out

Did I ever tell you about running cross country in high school? You probably think because I write/post so much about running that I was really good at (you know, like I am now, LOLFOREVER), but I wasn't. I thought it would be pretty easy, only I was young and dumb and out of shape. I finished every race, though. Last.

So, whatever. Here were are (OMG) fifteen years later and running is like...a thing. And, more importantly, it's my thing. It isn't that I'm very good at it, but I can do it, and I like it! I mean, I can't tell you that I loooooooove it because no one actually loves running. It's a great stress reliever and basically allows you to eat a lot. Rungry is a thing, okay?

Okay, the point to this is that I crossed something off my list this weekend. Something I actually didn't even give a second thought to until this time last year. Now, I don't have a bucket list or anything. I feel that if something is cool and I want to do it, then one day I'll try.

Apparently I thought running a half marathon was cool.

So I did it.

And it was amazing.

We (my running buddy, Michelle) started training in September. LOL, two teachers starting training for a half marathon when school starts. Yeah, we were laughing too, only not really. Training was hard to keep up with, especially with school and my busy social calendar. That's a joke, by the way. In October we did a ten-miler that got us pretty pumped for thirteen. It didn't hurt that everyone we know who is a distance runner told us "Oh, just another three! That's no big deal!". You're all a bunch of liars, okay?

Eventually all of our almost training paid off, however. Saturday we got up dark and early and headed to Walt Disney World to get our run on with a few thousand of our closest friends. Yeah, some people think you're insane because you love running. Or because you pay to run. Or because you wear your Captain America socks with the wings on them while running.

Whatever, Ma. Everyone else liked them. :) 

So being at Disney at 4AM is not quite as fun as it sounds. Especially when it's forty-five degrees out and you're born and raised Floridian with thin blood. Here's the thing...it was totally worth it. I had been stressing for weeks about whether or not I was going to make this race. I was worried I hadn't trained enough. I was worried I wasn't going to make it. I was worried I was going to get hurt. 

It was awesome. 

There was so much excitement surrounding us that it left absolutely no time to be nervous. Also, there were so many people around us that it didn't matter if it was your first or your hundredth race, because everyone was about having fun. The best part was that I made it and I made it with one of my best friends. We both know that it would have been difficult had we not taken this journey together (she's texting me motivational pictures trying to talk me into a FULL marathon as I type this), and it probably wouldn't have been as much fun. 

also got to meet Mer and Brooke from ScootADoot AND IT WAS AWESOME. I once said that it was my dream to run with Mer and then it happened. Sigh. They're both so pretty. 

I look so stupid because I'M SO EXCITED

But really, I can't really describe the feeling that I got when I crossed the finish line. It was mostly relief because I'd been up since 2AM and was hungry and cold and sweaty. Yeah, that's a thing that can happen. But also...I don't think I've felt that proud of myself about something in a long time. When you're an adult it's hard to come by those things, you know? Aside from like, getting married and having kids or something. (LOL.)

During this whole process I've been consistently amazed about what a body can do. Actually, what my thirty-one-year-old body could do that my sixteen-year-old body didn't really feel like doing. It's amazing what can happen when you put your mind to it. And what you can do when you're motivated by the right people and have good friends to get you through stuff. You can do really cool things when you try. 

Now you do something awesome. Do it for you. Or go out and do something awesome for other people. 

I'm going to leave you with some pictures and go lather on the BioFreeze. 

Well, now it's real.

The castle! And Elsa! And Anna! And Kristoff! 

Magic Kingdom selfie!

Medals! We made it!

Beermosa. Congrats to me! 

Worth it. 

Go do something.

It'll Be Okay

Is this week over yet? No?

It's been a tough one, that's for sure. It probably has to do with not having to set an alarm for over two weeks. Or maybe it was the full moon. Perhaps is was the students all hopped up on Christmas break and presents and cookies (oh, the cookies). Any day after a long vacation is like herding cats, in my opinion. I've never actually herded cats, but they're just like children, right? 

Anywho, it's been a day. A day from a place. A place that rhymes with smell, if you catch my drift. (You do, I know it.) Lucky for me, I'm not the only one who had the day-from-a-place-that-rhymes-with-smell. How do I know, you ask? I can see it on their faces, it's like looking into a mirror. 

It's comforting, though, really. It's good to know that we aren't the only ones who have bad days. Not all days are bad, but they aren't all good either. Children aren't perfect, the world isn't perfect, you are not perfect (no matter how hard we try or want to be). 

So, it'll be okay. Will it be great? Eh. Is it going to be awesome? Probably not. Will you make it through? I'm sure it doesn't always feel like it. 

You will, though. 

You've got friends to help you get through it. People to empathize with you and give you advice. Advice is my favorite thing. It used to be (a long time ago) that I didn't take advice very well. Now, I thrive on it. And if people come to me for advice? I'm flailing on the inside, but trying to act cool, okay? 

There are other thing to keep you going, too. Your job doesn't define you. You define you. I wasn't very nice a couple of times today, but that doesn't mean that I don't love those little stinkers  kids a lot! 

Each and every day I try to focus on something positive that happened, even if it doesn't always happen with my job. Maybe traffic wasn't too bad, or something was on sale on Target. Maybe I got a free drink at Starbucks, or my cat didn't vomit while I was at work. 

Or maybe...maybe it's just the fact that you woke. You got out of bed. You went to a job where you are appreciated. Maybe you made a difference even though you didn't know it. Maybe one day down the road some kid is going to remember something you said, and that kid ends up changing the world. 

Who really knows? 

Or maybe...maybe your good thing is that you get to home with those you love. You get to do something you enjoy. Maybe it's because Friday is just around the corner. 

Whatever your little thing is, I hope it makes you smile after a shitty day. 

My little thing is that I don't have to work Friday. (Sorry, suckas.)

Peace.