I'm Tired Already

It's Sunday and I'm on my second cup of coffee, sitting here in my church clothes because I didn't realize what time it was and got dressed early. I usually wait until the very last minute on Sunday because I like to milk it for all it's worth. 

Not today, I guess! 

This Sunday officially marks ONE WEEK until we really go back to school. 

Who's excited?

Now, I worked in my classroom two days last week and, thanks to my lovely principal, was able to go in for a little while before I left to traipse around NYC. I got my furniture moved on the first day and these other days have been about unpacking, organizing, reorganizing, throwing away, buying new stuff...you get the picture. 

As stressful as it can be, I absolutely love the "going back to work" process. I love my clean and shiny floor that I'm totally going to mess up when I shove my giant desk all the way across the room. I love new supplies and shopping for new supplies. I love getting rid of things I know I'm not going to use but also stashing things I know I'll never use but I keep "just in case". 

The whole act of setting up my classroom for my new littles is so much fun. There's a bit of a thrill that comes with them seeing the room for the first time and realizing that it's "their space". (I'm a little obsessed with my classroom, if you can't tell.) 

I know it's not all about the decor or what's hanging on the wall, though. I try to make my room fun and inviting, but also functional. As a self-diagnosed person with OCD I live for organization. One of my favorite things is to find a nice flow for my room, as well as think of all the things that can happen in each little nook and cranny. I plan centers, group activities, all kinds of things...in my head. 

Hence the title of this post. 

Y'all, this is exhausting! 

It's all-consuming and SO MUCH FUN. Last night, while hanging out with friends at an end-of-summer get together, I heard myself say "I'd rather be at home laminating". 

I've gotten a jumpstart on all of this fun stuff and I can't wait to share it with my new students. This will be my second year teaching Gifted/Cambridge students and I'm looking forward to growing more in my teaching style and seeing what I can learn from them. 

This year is Lucky 13 for and it can only get better...right? 

Good luck to all of you heading back soon. You've got the future in your hands. No pressure. 

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A Week in the Life

This past week was Teacher Appreciation Week, so parents and administration spoiled us with all kind gifts and snacks. Getting up on Monday I had this bright idea that I was going to do some photo documentation of a week in the life a teacher. It's usually about this time of year that I do an end-of-the-year post, so I thought it would be fun to go through it in pictures.

We'll see how well it works.

Monday's are always hard so I tried to make myself look presentable. Sometimes how you look changes your attitude or something. Also, I like when my kids tell me I'm pretty because I'm shallow that way. :)

Sitting in traffic on the bridge and actually put together on a Monday morning. Hooray!

Making my coworkers take pictures of me in my doorway to prove that I looked halfway decent on Monday morning. 

Cookies on Monday morning? Yes, please! 

Yes, I am eating ice cream in my classroom in the dark...alone.

Cup number three? Or four? I've lost count.

                                                           

                                               It isn't always easy to workout at home.

Tuesday! Tuesdays should be easier but they totally aren't. As the week goes on it gets harder to get up and get moving. This is mostly because I love sleep. There aren't a lot of pictures for Tuesday because most of the time I'm, you know, teaching. 

Almost ready? Maybe

Second coffee picture. Coffee is life and you can't tell me any different.

Set up for grading in my home office/guest room. Most of my work gets done at home because sometimes I just can't find the time during the school day to get it done. Also, here I can work in my pajamas. 

The view from the other side of my computer, which is what I'd rather be doing because books are life (like coffee). 

Super proud of myself for trying to get into shape this week. 

Wednesday! There's literally one picture from school on Wednesday and it's this one. The end of the year means testing and testing means we switch schedules with the upper grades. This means that I have a long afternoon with my kiddos. I covertly took this pic as they cleaned up math centers. Teacher's tired, y'all. 

Another run and some new sneaks for me! 

Trying to grade papers but being emotionally compromised by a superhero show at the same time. 

Ugh, Thursday! We're so close to the end but really not, you know? 

I like to match.

Glad to see you're using your time wisely, boys.

FRIDAY! Friday is the best because it's the weekend, but also the worst because there is SO MUCH TO DO STILL. 

Friday also means the end of Teacher Appreciation Week and that means presents! 

It was Cinco de Mayo so we made sangria and called it fruit punch. (We're learning how to measure liquids, okay?)

Still awake/alive at lunchtime on Friday. Go me!

I'm in love with all of this superhero stuff. It's like the theme was made for me. 

Tacos with my people! We didn't choose tacos because of Cinco de Mayo, but because we had buy one get one free coupons. 

We also took to the theaters for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and Chris Pratt. 

So, I didn't get quite as many pictures of myself as I'd like. (Sad, I know.) It was a fun experiment, though. I got pretty busy toward the middle of the week with the whole teaching thing. And the grading. And the wrangling of small children. 

That's what a week of my life kind of looks like, I guess. It isn't glamorous, but it isn't bad. The best part is that I get to spend my days doing what I love with people that I enjoy. There's a little less than a month left of school and we're all getting pretty restless. I feel it and I know they feel it. So, like I say at the end of every year: make the most of this time with your students. You never know what kind of impact you'll have on their lives. I know I'm changed every year. 

Here's Baby Groot waving goodbye because I literally just want to keep staring at him forever. 

HE'S SO CUTE.

It'll Be Okay

Is this week over yet? No?

It's been a tough one, that's for sure. It probably has to do with not having to set an alarm for over two weeks. Or maybe it was the full moon. Perhaps is was the students all hopped up on Christmas break and presents and cookies (oh, the cookies). Any day after a long vacation is like herding cats, in my opinion. I've never actually herded cats, but they're just like children, right? 

Anywho, it's been a day. A day from a place. A place that rhymes with smell, if you catch my drift. (You do, I know it.) Lucky for me, I'm not the only one who had the day-from-a-place-that-rhymes-with-smell. How do I know, you ask? I can see it on their faces, it's like looking into a mirror. 

It's comforting, though, really. It's good to know that we aren't the only ones who have bad days. Not all days are bad, but they aren't all good either. Children aren't perfect, the world isn't perfect, you are not perfect (no matter how hard we try or want to be). 

So, it'll be okay. Will it be great? Eh. Is it going to be awesome? Probably not. Will you make it through? I'm sure it doesn't always feel like it. 

You will, though. 

You've got friends to help you get through it. People to empathize with you and give you advice. Advice is my favorite thing. It used to be (a long time ago) that I didn't take advice very well. Now, I thrive on it. And if people come to me for advice? I'm flailing on the inside, but trying to act cool, okay? 

There are other thing to keep you going, too. Your job doesn't define you. You define you. I wasn't very nice a couple of times today, but that doesn't mean that I don't love those little stinkers  kids a lot! 

Each and every day I try to focus on something positive that happened, even if it doesn't always happen with my job. Maybe traffic wasn't too bad, or something was on sale on Target. Maybe I got a free drink at Starbucks, or my cat didn't vomit while I was at work. 

Or maybe...maybe it's just the fact that you woke. You got out of bed. You went to a job where you are appreciated. Maybe you made a difference even though you didn't know it. Maybe one day down the road some kid is going to remember something you said, and that kid ends up changing the world. 

Who really knows? 

Or maybe...maybe your good thing is that you get to home with those you love. You get to do something you enjoy. Maybe it's because Friday is just around the corner. 

Whatever your little thing is, I hope it makes you smile after a shitty day. 

My little thing is that I don't have to work Friday. (Sorry, suckas.)

Peace. 

All The Things

Oh, hey. You're still here? Yeah, me too.

It's been a month since my rant about honking at runners and I don't actually have an excuse except that I've been really, really tired. Like, really. I kept thinking I wanted to write a post about how tired I've been but I don't want all those "Hey, at least you don't have kids" and "But you don't have anyone to go home to" comments. I know I don't have a family or anything to come home to (do you seriously think I don't?), but that doesn't mean I don't have a life. Okay, so my life isn't that interesting...but I also don't like to complain, so I've put off this post for a while.

It's not that I'm tired per se, but more like I'm stretched too thin. Honestly, this is my own fault. I like to do things. I need to do things. No, I don't have this sick need for recognition, I just actually like doing stuff for people. (One of my spiritual gifts is Helps - a blessing and a curse, let's be real.)

Sometimes, though...sometimes doing stuff gets tiring.

Most of the stuff I do is for work because I love my job. I love it. There is nothing else I'd rather be doing, which is great because most of my waking hours are actually spent at work. Sometimes I think back to summer vacation and to those moments when I used to get a little stir crazy and wish for something to do. Those are times when I also wish I could kick myself. Sometimes I get the "You need a life" or "You work too much" talk (thanks, Mom), but I don't really mind. I do work a lot. But I love it.

I talk a big talk about being alone, hating everyone and pants, but the time I get to spend with my people helps to alleviate some of work stress. Praise band on Tuesday, life group on Thursday, people in my books on the weekends. The weeks where everything runs together smoothly are like magic. Especially if I get to train in that week since I'm supposed to be running a half-marathon in two months. That's a whole other post entirely. But, of course, the weeks aren't always perfect.

There are days when I feel like I've bit off more than I can chew. Like I really can't do all the things I've committed to and that kind of scares me. It scares me because I want to be able to do all the things. This weekend was the first weekend in over a month when I actually didn't have anything I was committed to. No school functions, no family parties, no races...IT WAS AMAZING. But still, I love doing the things.

Actually me. 

One day I want to be able to do all the things I want and do all the things people think I should do. You know, get married and have kids and get a dog or something. I don't know what the kids are doing these days. 

Anyways, back to doing stuff. I love doing stuff! Sometimes I see my coworkers all freaking out and having bad days and I just want to hug them. I really do because I love you guys and you're all so awesome. Yeah, it's a hard job and we do a lot, but it's the best job. It's not a job you can walk out on and not think about again. Maybe it's just me, but I take it home every night. I take it home mentally, because I'm also thinking about what I can do better, how I can fix something that might not have gone well, how I can try to be better the next day. Sometimes I'm a grump and I want to turn it around. Sometimes nothing goes right so I have to put in a little extra effort to make sure I'm doing my best. 

Sure, sometimes your best is hard. Maybe you don't think things you do deserve your best, but they do. Perhaps the people don't deserve your best, but you should give it to them anyway. Not because they deserve it, but because you do. 

I hope you're doing all the things you want to do. And that you're drinking a lot of coffee while you do it. 

Also me.

Stand Tall

This week sucked. Like, really sucked. 

The first week back to school after summer vacation is always the hardest in my (most teachers') opinion. Kids have been running willy-nilly for two months and we're expected to just jump right on in and get to teaching. 

Yeah, right.

First, we have to go through the rules. Then, the procedures for basically EVERY MOVEMENT YOU MAKE. After that, we have to go through the rules again because OMG JUST RAISE YOU HAND IF YOU WANT TO TELL ME SOMETHING. 

Oh, I'm shouting. Sorry. See, I'm not a voice-raiser in my classroom. The louder I get, they louder they get and that just doesn't work for me. You know how I know it doesn't work for me? Because that's all I did this week. My students love to talk. I don't even know what they're talking about, and most of the time I don't even think they were talking to each other. Seriously, I'm pretty sure these kids were just making noises to themselves. 

What. Even. 

Anytime I turned around I heard Mad-Eye Moody's voice in my head: "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" 

Rest in Peace, Moody! 

Basically I spent so much of this week redirecting in a positive manner that what the hell did I even teach? But it's okay. I mean, eventually it will be okay because I really have to remember a few things. 

Number one: They're kids. Kids are impulsive and loud (ugh, and messy). Just because I haven't been around them in two months doesn't mean they haven't changed. This is my eighth year teaching, so I should know better than to think that everything is going to be sunshine and roses the first week. If anything, I should read my own words and think about herding cats because that's all I did this week. 

Number two: They don't know me yet. They don't know my class rules fully or my teaching style or the jokes I have. (I have jokes, okay?) From what I've learned over the years I know that kids are eager to please. I'm looking forward to them getting to know me and for that to (hopefully) make my class more fun for them. 

(Sidenote: While playing a game called "Walk the Line" with my class I gave them a choice between Captain America and Superman and told them to choose wisely. All but one of them did. Yeah, they'll know me soon enough.)

Number three: I don't know them. I can complain until I'm blue in the face about how my kids don't know how things work in my classroom, but if I don't take the time to show an interest in their lives then what am I even here for? I know them academically but I don't know their strengths yet. I know what I've seen in the hallways from previous years and what other teachers have told me, but that doesn't matter. Just like students, all teachers are different, too. I got a "you've got your hands full" comment this week, but in the next 175 days that might change

Number four: It's a good job. As in: it's a job that does good. (Not well.) Kids, man. They're everything. 

So, I'm ready for week two. I'm all stocked up on coffee (Starbucks blonde roast, to be exact) and I'm feelings pretty good. I mean, all my laundry is clean and that's really all I can prepare for. I don't know what's going to happen in my classroom but at least I'll be caffeinated and have on clean pants. 

Godspeed, 

Your Tired Teacher Friend