This Just In: Teaching is Still Hard

This is not a fun, happy post. This will most likely not make you feel good about your job. Unless your job isn't teaching, then you probably feel fine already so what the hell are you even doing here? 

I have not posted to this blog since summer of 2021 and even then it was just a fun "these are cool things I like in my classroom". Actually, I haven't posted to my book review blog either, but that's mostly because I am very, very tired and don't get a lot of reading and writing done. 

Back to this post. 

This job is hard. I've talked about this before. I have posts titled this. But I have not felt so defeated as I've had in the past two years. I have not felt like this job has been too hard until now. (I'm actually tearing up as I write this but it could be the second beer or PMS.) 

I remember my first post about teaching was in response to my feelings about a comment on a friend's Facebook post. It was about teaching the day after Halloween and how hard it is. 

People don't understand that teaching is not all fun and games and days off. I don't get "paid for the summer", I stretch my salary out for the months I don't work. I don't work 7:30-3:30. I bring work home and tutor in the morning and afternoon to make extra money because teacher pay is absolute shit.

I answer parent emails after hours because I care about my kids but also I have anxiety about leaving things left unsaid, unread, undone. That anxiety has only increased since the beginning of the pandemic and I'm sure it isn't going anywhere anytime soon. 

I love my job. I really, truly do. There are so many amazing moments in teaching. I have a fun group of kids who aren't always perfect but we make it work. Sometimes we're all cranky one day and the next day we're fine and dandy.

It is 100% never, ever easy. A lot of people think that my class of high achievers is a walk in the park. It's not. Like I said, we have our days. 

Emotions run high in most classrooms. We can all tell as we walk down the hall and I know it's not just my school. It's got to be everywhere, right? After all, we're all in this together.

When you think about it, students in my 2nd grade have never had a "normal" year of school. In kindergarten they were quarantine, or "crisis" learning, in first grade they were hybrid. Some of my students this year never stepped foot in school last year. This year is our "normal" year. 

But...do we wear masks? Or do we not? Are we playing catch-up or are we okay? Social emotional learning? Growth? Behavior? Friendships? How can I be kind to others and myself? 

Honestly, these things apply to adults as well. I have plenty of friends on social media and in real life who are just now returning to their offices or whose companies have decided to let them work from home. Teachers, like healthcare workers, did not get that option. We've been here since day one. We've adjusted schedules, classrooms, lunches, recess, seating charts, and the list goes on and on... to try and keep everyone safe and healthy. 

We've put cleaning supplies on our wish lists. Our hands are dry from hand sanitizer and Lysol wipes. We worry about getting sick and spreading it. Do we take off of work or do we suck it up? Are there subs? (The answer is always no.) We create seating charts for the classroom and lunch. 

Teachers are desperately trying to do the best thing for kids. Florida has introduced new standards this year, we've gotten a new curriculum. We are working overtime to get shit done. It's not easy. We're tired. 

Does anyone who doesn't work in a school truly know what it's like? I'm getting a little teary again just thinking about it. I have always very strongly felt that teaching is my calling, and I still believe that. I love to learn. I love the spark that kids get when they understand something. I love working with a team of people who believe the same thing I do. I love my school. 

Thousands of teachers have left this profession for many reasons and it is only going to get harder. As social media and technology take over it is so easy for things to be said and spread and argued over. It makes it easy to share opinions without thinking who we are hurting or what the outcome is going to be.

Honestly, this is one, if not the biggest problem of teaching. Everyone wants instant gratification and it's just not feasible. We're teachers, not wizards. Sorry.

One of my favorite sayings is "be kind, you never know what someone else is going through". There are so many things we keep bottled up, especially teachers. We do a good job, for the most part, of putting on a smile for our kids. When I'm tired and stressed or flubbing words during a lesson I play it off as a joke, let my kids laugh, and put a smile back on. Not every profession has to do that. Not every job has to pretend that everything is fine all day so kids don't think you're upset with them or just upset in general. 

Teaching has never been easy but these past couple of years have been brutal. In the words of Adele, go easy on us. It's not over yet and we're trying to keep it together. 

Everything is Fine

I sometimes like to post a touchy-feely-back-to-school post just to kind of talk about the feel of a brand new year and how excited I am for new faces and supplies. This might be that kind of post...but it might not be. 

I'm exhausted in a more than just a "first week of school" way. Teachers at my school started back about two weeks ago for training, prepping, and planning. We've been social distancing, wearing masks, sanitizing and cleaning compulsively. Okay, maybe not all of us have been compulsive, but I have. 

The time between spring break and the end of the year was hectic. It was "crisis teaching" and trying our best to check in with students and families. We made it work, for what it's worth, but it was a band-aid. It was hard not being with my class, not being able to do our end of the year projects, and celebrate them with awards face-to-face. Once my classroom was all packed up I did manage a drive-by gift drop off to most of my students. 

We knew this year was going to be different. My school is offering three different models this year and teachers are planning and teaching for all three. There wasn't a lot of time to plan and not all the resources we need are ready...but we made it work? My class, like everyone else's, is set up for social distancing: students' belongings can't touch, contact less morning greetings, students on Zoom...the list goes 

Honestly, I am always encouraged and inspired by some of my coworkers. This week has not been easy. There have been obstacles, but we are making it work...I think? 

For the most part, my class has been great. I know that it's not going to be perfect right away. It's been six months since any of us were in any type of structured setting. Not only that, this "structured setting" that we're now in is completely different than anything we've known. I say "we" because I have also not been doing anything structured for a long time. 

Teaching online while also trying to keep the kids in the class occupied has been a bit of a challenge. They all want to share their thoughts and stories. They want to "help" and "give suggestions" as well...you can imagine how that goes. 

We're also wearing masks all day, with the exception of lunch and recess. I'm lucky that my traditional class is small enough that we can stretch out and take masks breaks. I'm also lucky that the kids are bright enough to remember that "six squares" means six feet apart and they are responsible enough to keep their masks on until everyone is ready 

Everything is different and it's been hard. The planning isn't fun, sometimes it's hard to hear them for answers, it makes me sad that we can't do things like we used to.  

But! We're going to make it work. I try my best to stay positive, make jokes, and make things fun. If I get frustrated, I definitely try not to let them see. I don't know what's going to happen, truly. I hope we can all stay safe and healthy. I hope we get to stay in school and see more students return. I hope that everything goes back to normal. 

I also hope that my kids are happy, feel welcome and loved, and maybe even learn a little bit. I'm praying that my colleagues find peace, that they are less stressed, and that they are able to be the best they can for their students. 

These past few weeks have been hard for a lot of reasons. Some of those reasons are other people and their opinion of teachers. Their "Get back in the classroom or don't get paid" attitudes and the "You knew what you signed up for" comments on articles and posts are hurtful and ignorant. This really isn't what teachers signed up for. We're scared for ourselves, friends, families, and students. We don't really feel ready in any aspect, but...we're showing up. We're showing up because we have bills to pay and mouths to feed and a passion to teach.   

I'm going to keep showing up, and I hope you do too. 

(Unless we get the corona. Then we should stay home.)

I'm Tired Already

It's Sunday and I'm on my second cup of coffee, sitting here in my church clothes because I didn't realize what time it was and got dressed early. I usually wait until the very last minute on Sunday because I like to milk it for all it's worth. 

Not today, I guess! 

This Sunday officially marks ONE WEEK until we really go back to school. 

Who's excited?

Now, I worked in my classroom two days last week and, thanks to my lovely principal, was able to go in for a little while before I left to traipse around NYC. I got my furniture moved on the first day and these other days have been about unpacking, organizing, reorganizing, throwing away, buying new stuff...you get the picture. 

As stressful as it can be, I absolutely love the "going back to work" process. I love my clean and shiny floor that I'm totally going to mess up when I shove my giant desk all the way across the room. I love new supplies and shopping for new supplies. I love getting rid of things I know I'm not going to use but also stashing things I know I'll never use but I keep "just in case". 

The whole act of setting up my classroom for my new littles is so much fun. There's a bit of a thrill that comes with them seeing the room for the first time and realizing that it's "their space". (I'm a little obsessed with my classroom, if you can't tell.) 

I know it's not all about the decor or what's hanging on the wall, though. I try to make my room fun and inviting, but also functional. As a self-diagnosed person with OCD I live for organization. One of my favorite things is to find a nice flow for my room, as well as think of all the things that can happen in each little nook and cranny. I plan centers, group activities, all kinds of things...in my head. 

Hence the title of this post. 

Y'all, this is exhausting! 

It's all-consuming and SO MUCH FUN. Last night, while hanging out with friends at an end-of-summer get together, I heard myself say "I'd rather be at home laminating". 

I've gotten a jumpstart on all of this fun stuff and I can't wait to share it with my new students. This will be my second year teaching Gifted/Cambridge students and I'm looking forward to growing more in my teaching style and seeing what I can learn from them. 

This year is Lucky 13 for and it can only get better...right? 

Good luck to all of you heading back soon. You've got the future in your hands. No pressure. 

Find me on social media or help out my classroom: 

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon Wishlist 

What Good Teachers Do

I debated writing this post for a few reasons that may only make sense to me.

A. I don't want you to think I know what good teachers do because I think I'm a good teacher. (Also, I don't want you thinking I'm fishing for compliments. I am not.)

B. I don't want you to think I'm talking about you?

Okay, so. What do good teachers do? I'm sure if you ask any teacher they are going to give you a lot of different answers, because I don't think there is just one thing that good teachers do. Do good teacher follow the curriculum or do they follow their heart? Why can't they do both? Is there a book a about good teaching? Sure! Are there a lot of books about good teaching? Probably.

Have I read any of them? No.

I know. I love to read, but I'm just not good at reading self-help and informational text.

I think that good teachers care, and not because they feel like they have to. We all have those students that push our buttons and get on our nerves and basically drive us up the wall. Those are the ones we should care about most because those are the ones who need it the most. Does it always work like that? Absolutely not. Sometimes, even as adults, it's hard to muster the strength to care about someone when it seems like their sole purpose is to make you miserable. Should we always try? Yeah, I guess.

Investing in your kids. This may kind of seem like showing kids you care, but maybe it isn't. Maybe I'm really tired and shouldn't be blogging right now. By investing I mean more than hugging and talking to. Engage in an actual conversation. Show up at one of their extra event. Have lunch with them (UGH, lunch bunch). Work with them, encourage them, tell them you're proud of their accomplishments. There are so many ways we can invest in our kids and some of us are just not doing it. These kids, the little ones in our care right now? They are the future. This is it. It is literally right in front of us. Don't we want to make it better than it is right now?

Show up. Show up for work. Show up for life. Bring your best self. No matter what you're going through out in the real world. Trust me, I KNOW that shit gets hard. You don't have to tell me that there are things that you just can't control. But sometimes we just need to pick ourselves up and show up.

These past few days I've been out of my classroom to facilitate academic progress meetings. I've been sitting with other teachers and talking about other students and, damn, I miss my kids. This is probably the first year where I say things like that. I'm more frustrated by not being with my kids than I am about writing sub plans.

I miss showing up for them, you know? I've been greeting them before my meetings and checking in at lunch and recess, but it isn't the same. This year's group of kids is so funny and real and I've really been missing that time with them.

Well, I've kind of enjoyed bothered the front office people and yelling at people to "get out of my office", too, but it isn't the same as watching a little one learn, explore, and just enjoy life. (I hope they are enjoying life?)

Teachers. We only have a day and a half before spring break. After that, the end is nigh.

Show up for your kids. Love them. Invest in them. Yell at them if you need to, but make sure they know why.

Be good, okay?

Also, you got this.

The End of the Road

Oh, we are so close to the end here, y'all. Today I got to celebrate my Super Second Graders with an award ceremony in our classroom. Parents filled the room, snacks filled the table, and, believe or not, I was genuinely happy in my classroom for the first time in a long time. The families smiled and took pictures, parents and students thanked me for a great year. It was a feeling that I hadn't felt in a while.

I know, I know. That sounds terrible, right? Teaching is supposed to be fun and happy and rainbows.

Obviously, if you follow this blog or speak to me on a daily basis or are friends with my on any piece of social media you know that I've been struggling this year. My class is full of big personalities and, honestly, sometimes they aren't good traits. It has been a difficult year. For the most part I'm glad that it's over.

It's hard to be sad when I've struggled so much. I know that I always take something from each year. There's always that little nugget of inspiration that hopefully works for...someone? This year was all about patience for me. It was learning to bite my tongue when I really wanted to scream and yell. (Honestly, sometimes I did scream and yell.)

Even today, when nine students left after our ceremony, I had to get loud. 

There are just some things that teachers can't control and don't understand. I often hear/see teachers higher grade levels say things like "What until he/she gets to __ grade, then they won't act that way". Um, yeah, they probably will? I know for a fact that many of my former students with behavior issues are still struggling in higher grades. To me, that's comforting. It lets me know that it wasn't just me the student didn't mesh with. 

It also makes me sad, because it means that there is something with that child that is missing. Or that someone is missing. Sometimes it isn't something a teacher can do. As hard as I try to instill respect and responsibility in a students, it doesn't always work if there's no other back up. 

This job is not easy. This job is not always fun and rainbows. This job is kids who you can't reach, kids who struggle, and kids who need love. It isn't something that you take lightly and it isn't something that you can just let go. 

We all have our stories. We all have those students that stick with us. We have those classes we love and the ones that we don't love as much. When my father died in 2016 that class was The Class. They were challenging, but they were smart and weird and funny. They kept my mind off my grief and helped me through it. I know they will never know that, even though they knew what was going on in my life. 

I. Love. This. Job. I love the people I've met because of it. The friendships that I've built with colleagues, parents, and kids. This is a good job. 

And I am very ready to have a good summer. 

Before that, though... 

Be there. Be present. Give the hugs. Smile the smile. Yell if you need to. Let them know that you love them, even when they're difficult. 

You never know if you're the person they need in their life. 

Six more days, friends. 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Guys. It's been a week. I mean, I know it's a new week because it's Sunday and all that, but...it's been a week. Maybe it's the fact that we're in the final few weeks of the year, or maybe we were all just grumpy last week, or, yeah I've got nothing else. 

Last week my class and I had multiple heart-to-heart conversations about showing respect for one another and, equally important, themselves. I tried to stress that the more they misbehaved, the more disrespectful they were. When they were talking or flat out not listening to directions it wasn't just hurting me, or those around them, they were hurting themselves too. 

The end of the year is stressful for everyone, and I know that it's the same with the students. (This post alone has made me break from my Weight Watchers plan. I've finished off a pint of Halo Top and now I'm eating Cheez-its.) It's the time of year when we expect more from them because they've been in school for almost 180 days. (Thanks, Irma.) We remind them that they are almost 3rd graders, they are leaders, and they have grown so much this year! 

We also remind them to...

Stay in their seat. 

Raise their hand.

Listen to directions. 

Do their homework. 

Did I mention stay in their seat? 

 Keep their hands to themselves. 

Use their manners.

I could go on and on.

Point is, some days feel like a huge fail. It feels like the whole year has been leading up to this. THIS? Now, don't take this the wrong way. I love my class. I am not a fan of the relationship we have right now. We lack mutual respect and need it now more than ever. I know it isn't there but students say things jokingly but it actually hurts my feelings. How does a 34-year-old get her feelings hurt by a second grader? Let me count the ways... 

Here's the thing. They don't have social cues to not say certain things, and to also not say certain things to adults. At some point we might want to sit back and think "Okay, parents should teach these things". Okay, but  so should we. 

That's what I'm trying to do. Desperately. 

In the meantime I absolutely do not want my students to be scared of me. I don't want them to be fearful that they are going to get into trouble. I want them to feel loved, but also feel disciplined in the way that they can tell the right thing from the wrong thing. 

Does that make sense? 

I want them to be good humans. 

So. 

35 more days to make it happen. 

Any suggestions? 

I'm sure i've used this before. 

Feels Like a Monday

Within the past twenty-four hours I've gotten two text messages with a "Forty days left of school!" kind of feel about them. My internal response was something kind of like this:

Of course, blah blah blah, I love my job and all of that. This year, guys. This year is tough. I was talking with a friend today about how I'd trade last year for this year. Not to beat a dead horse, but with so many changes it's been difficult to stay consistent in so many things. 

This year is definitely making me question my "awesome classroom management skills". This year is tough. 

I've been trying a lot of different things this year and most of it has been working. There are still those days, however. These days, you know what I mean? 

It's not like today was absolutely terrible, but it could have been better. My kids and I are moving into a new routine. I had a full-time intern who recently completed her time with us so I know we're going to have a bit of a transition period. It's been nice having two teachers in the room. Now that I'm on my own again (for the second time this year) I'm pretty tired and extra cranky. *insert laughing/crying emoji*

I know it's my own fault, for the most part. I'm a control freak and there are just some things I absolutely can't control. I can't control a kid's emotions, but I can control how I react to them reacting...if that makes sense? 

Every day is different and every day is a day for reflection...right? 

That's what I keep telling myself. 

And it's only Monday. 

Practice Makes Perfect

Teaching is absolutely not perfect, nor is my classroom. I just needed a catchy title and something that kind of went with my ideas that are about to vomit here.

Any time I blog about something, you should know that it's truly something I try or focus on in my classroom. I try really hard to lead and live by example, but also to share honestly about my teaching experience.

This year has been especially difficult (you can read my whining here) with so many changes, behavior problems, and IRMA. I try to start every new day with a new attitude. It doesn't do me well to think on mistakes we (my students or myself) made the day before. I'm fully aware that they are just tiny humans and I'm the one who needs to lead them.

Note the keyword there is "try". Some days the trying is harder than others. Some days there is no "try". (Nor is there any "do".)

Some days just suck.

But then! Then there are the good days. Okay, so when I say that there are good days it doesn't necessarily mean that everything was sunshine and roses and amazing. The chances that every single one of my students are absolutely perfect are slim to none. Unless they are all absent. Get it? 

Whatever. This week was a week of major triumphs for me with one of my students and I loved sharing it with others. 

At the risk of exposing students I will just tell you that this kid is tough. They are smart, funny, likeable...emotional...angry at times. 

This student is on a behavior chart and we work everydamnday on controlling those BIG emotions that they have. Despite having to call for assistance two days with them, they still met the goal on their chart four out of five days of the week. I say it's a perfect week because on Friday they actually had a perfect day. That means for every subject and every activity they did, there was acknowledgement of this good behavior. 

And, guys, this kid was thrilled. So was I. 

What did I do differently? Well, for four out of the five days I worked on ignoring the poor behavior. I used a calm and quiet teacher voice to speak reason with the student and when that didn't work I left them alone. Eventually they realized the things they were missing and they knew that if they wanted to meet their goal changes needed to be made. They made it happen on their own. 

I will admit to using my loud teacher voice on one of those days, but we all slip up sometimes. 

My point is: don't give up. 

If it's hard, it's because it's worth it. That always sounds to cheesy, but I truly believe. Teaching is hard, y'all. It's hard and it's important. 

Do the good work. 

You got this. 

Be the Change (in the Classroom)

Just last week or so I posted that this will be the "same old blog" and I'm going to stick to that in the best way I can. Some things are changing for ME, so I am making a little change to this old blog.

I've decided to make it more teaching centered, but still incorporate some motivational and touchy-feely posts I've grown to write and love.

Today, specifically, I'd like to talk about change in the classroom.

This is a tough subject for me because I tend to be very Type A. Sometimes I have a "things need to be a certain way and that's it" kind of mentality. Here's the deal with that, though: it doesn't work.  Stop me if I've done a post like this before (ha!) but I feel like I need a little reminder sometimes, too.

This year (if you've read my other posts) has been a challenge already. I say "already" and it's actually January- we're halfway through the year! So many things have happened since August but I'm still struggling with certain behaviors in my class. It's like one day is great and the next day the room is on fire (I'm on fire, everything is on fire).

I get so exhausted teaching this way and I know it's time to make a change. Change is just...hard. It's hard because it feels like what I've been doing for my eleven years of teaching has just worked. Then I start to question if it actually has been working...or if I just thought it was working. So. It's time to make a change. I know this change won't happen overnight. I know that it will take some researching and possibly some Pinteresting and even some (gasp) talking to others about what might work in my classroom.

I know that the change has to start with me. I'm the adult in the room. I set the mood. I need to be more present and more prepared. Personal feelings need to be set aside in order for change to take place. I can't hold against a kid something they did the day before (and I wouldn't, just saying) when I know that they are just kids. I need to be the model for them to follow.

So.

Point is, I'm ready for the change. This class that I have is interesting and they challenge me in all kinds of ways. For the most part they are an amazing and interesting group of kids. They truly are. We have fun and we learn and love...but we definitely have bad days. I guess I'm ready to take these challenges to the next level and turn them into triumphs.

Wow, that got real cheesy.

I guess you could call this a resolution for the new year. Y'all keep me accountable for this. (Don't let me yell at my class.)

Happy teaching.

The Struggle is Real Part II

So, it's 5:45 on a Thursday morning and I can't get this out of my head. A while back (years?) I named a post "The Struggle is Real" in which I talked about trying to lose weight and how it was a struggle and all that.

This is a little bit different.

I mostly write about my teaching experiences and how to find the positive in situations. Sometimes I give out tips or make funny and cute lists. This is not one of those times.

I'm struggling, y'all.

This is my first "teacher post" of the year and, at this point, I'm not sure what I have to offer. I've spoken to a few friends already about it and they have been amazing at lifting my spirits. They've helped me see all of the things that have happened this year and tried to make sense of this feeling that leaves me crying in the shower on a Wednesday night. (Maybe it's PMS, IDK.)

I know I'm not alone in this struggle, either. Ask any teacher in South Florida and they will tell you that the two and a half weeks out of school due to Hurricane Irma really put a damper on our school year. For those two weeks all I did was worry about my kiddos and their families. I was elated (really) to go back to school and see all of their sweet faces. 

Things have been difficult lately, though. Due to some unforeseen circumstances (Thanks, Irma) I got three new students in my class and some things have changed. I feel that, in my eleventh year teaching, I'm somewhat of a veteran. I know I have good management skills because people often come to watch me teach and observe them. (I'm not being arrogant, it's kind of true.) 

Lately though...I'm struggling. I'm struggling with the love I feel for these kids. I want them to succeed and to be happy. I want them to feel safe and loved when they come into our classroom. And I KNOW, because I've said it before, that they are just kids. But kids at my school are different. They are leaders and scholars and I just can't wrap my head around why we aren't being those things we need to be (me included).  

Part of it is me, I know that. I'm working on a mindset shift and reaching out to parents to help. The other part is where I'm lost. Is it them? Parents? (Don't even get me started on that bunny trail.) Sometime I get stuck on "WHERE'S THE PROBLEM AND HOW DO I FIX IT?" because that's just how my brain works. 

Maybe there are a lot of problems that I don't know about and that's where I'm not seeing the big picture. Maybe I'm struggling because I'm not getting to know these kids like I need to. Maybe I just need a weekend away at Disney World to solve all my problems and make me feel a little better. 

Okay, that last part is just wishful thinking. 

Point is, I don't have all the answers. I wish I did. I wish I had some insight to share or some motivation to get you going, but I don't. 

All I can say is that if you're struggling too, come talk to me. We'll figure it out together. 

Or we can go for a drink and complain about it. 

Whichever. 

Happy Thursday.