Be the Change (in the Classroom)

Just last week or so I posted that this will be the "same old blog" and I'm going to stick to that in the best way I can. Some things are changing for ME, so I am making a little change to this old blog.

I've decided to make it more teaching centered, but still incorporate some motivational and touchy-feely posts I've grown to write and love.

Today, specifically, I'd like to talk about change in the classroom.

This is a tough subject for me because I tend to be very Type A. Sometimes I have a "things need to be a certain way and that's it" kind of mentality. Here's the deal with that, though: it doesn't work.  Stop me if I've done a post like this before (ha!) but I feel like I need a little reminder sometimes, too.

This year (if you've read my other posts) has been a challenge already. I say "already" and it's actually January- we're halfway through the year! So many things have happened since August but I'm still struggling with certain behaviors in my class. It's like one day is great and the next day the room is on fire (I'm on fire, everything is on fire).

I get so exhausted teaching this way and I know it's time to make a change. Change is just...hard. It's hard because it feels like what I've been doing for my eleven years of teaching has just worked. Then I start to question if it actually has been working...or if I just thought it was working. So. It's time to make a change. I know this change won't happen overnight. I know that it will take some researching and possibly some Pinteresting and even some (gasp) talking to others about what might work in my classroom.

I know that the change has to start with me. I'm the adult in the room. I set the mood. I need to be more present and more prepared. Personal feelings need to be set aside in order for change to take place. I can't hold against a kid something they did the day before (and I wouldn't, just saying) when I know that they are just kids. I need to be the model for them to follow.

So.

Point is, I'm ready for the change. This class that I have is interesting and they challenge me in all kinds of ways. For the most part they are an amazing and interesting group of kids. They truly are. We have fun and we learn and love...but we definitely have bad days. I guess I'm ready to take these challenges to the next level and turn them into triumphs.

Wow, that got real cheesy.

I guess you could call this a resolution for the new year. Y'all keep me accountable for this. (Don't let me yell at my class.)

Happy teaching.

Back at it Again

As of tomorrow summer is officially over. Can you believe it? June and July seemed to have flown by and tomorrow is the first day of school.

The past couple of weeks have been crazy as we've all been in various trainings and putting the finishing touches on our classrooms. It's also been fun catching up with friends that I've missed over the summer and making new ones. 

I love my job and I'm excited that I get to start my eleventh year teaching with some of my best friends in such an amazing school. This morning I started thinking about what a good back to school post should say and, while I didn't come up with much, I hope you'll find some inspiration in this mess that's about to happen. 

Don't sweat the small stuff. 

As a person who has self-diagnosed themselves with OCD, this is always a tough one for me. I like things a certain way and when you work in a room full of children it doesn't always happen that way. This is actually one of the hardest things for me to work through! It isn't just about what things look like, though. Sometimes you have those moments with students that are small (even if you think they're big) and it gets blown out of proportion. Solving the problem quickly and withing much attention or shifting your focus to something else is helpful.

Stay positive. 

This is going to sound repetitive of other blog posts, but it's so true. Staying positive, at least on the outside, is always a good thing. There will definitely be days that are tough. There are days when you want to call in sick, or walk out, or yell...but staying strong and dealing with things positively helps to build your relationship with your class. 

Find your person (or people). 

I feel lucky to have worked with some of my best friends for the past eleven years. Even if you don't have a "teacher best friend", look for a mentor or a buddy. Teaching isn't a job you can do alone, trust me. 

Get invested.

Teaching is not an easy job. It's not just hanging out with kids all day and going home with nothing on your mind. You have to learn your kids: what do they like, who are their friends, what's home like? There are so many things for you to learn about these little people that have been put into your care. You never know if you're the person who will change a child's life. 

Ask for help.

This goes with finding your person, maybe? People aren't going to know if you're struggling if you don't tell them. Even if you think it's something small. Even if you're embarrassed. Do it. 

Take care of yourself.

You're important too! As the leader in your classroom it's up to you to take care of the kids and yourself. Being of healthy mindset and body helps you to do your very best for you kids. 

Well. Like I said, tomorrow a new year begins. Maybe it's next week or next month for you, but I hope you get something out of this. 

Teaching is good work. 

Go do good. 

The Time is Now

There's a Kid President video that talks about how now is the time to be awesome. Now is the time to show kindness, to do something good, to be your best self.

In light of recent events around the world this weekend, I'm going to reiterate that statement.

The time is now, friends.

It's time to let go of our pettiness and anger.

It's time to love.

We have been watching this world fall apart for months, even years. Lives are threatened and ended every single day because of race or religion or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. People are dying because they left their homes and went about their normal day.

It isn't fair that these things happen and, more than that, it isn't right. We see these events on our news every day and we ignore them or argue about them. We fight about who is right or wrong, argue about race and religion, but do we help anything by doing that?

The answer is no, people.

By posting those arguments and by choosing sides we don't do anything but continue to harm. To me, there is only one side we need to choose:

Life.

I'm on the side of life, what about you?

Not only am I on the side of life, I'm on the side of love.

I have been in the position where I wanted to hate in my own personal life and it got me nowhere. Okay, that's a lie. It got me depressed and angry. That's what hate does. Hate solves nothing and it only brings a person down. If we continue to show hatred then nothing will ever change.

My pastor shared an amazing message about this today. We, as humans, carry so many emotions and when we hear of terrible things there are many, many reactions we can have. We can hate and want revenge, but in the end that isn't going to help anything. The only way we are going to change anything, including ourselves is to love. We can spread that love, share the light, be the light with the world. Be there for those who are sad and suffering. We can pray for peace for all of those and hope. We can hope for things to be better one day.

Choosing love isn't always easy, though. One of my favorite quotes actually comes from the Harry Potter series (that should not surprise anyone). It's this:

"We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy." 

That's pretty heavy stuff. Choosing love isn't easy, but it's right. Hoping for something better in trying times isn't easy, but it helps. Forgiveness...man, that's a tough one...but it's right.

Maybe we aren't ready to forgive, but in the meantime there are other things we can do. There are other things to focus on than hatred against others.

As a Christian, I know I am called to love and I know I know I know it's something that I struggle with sometimes. But now, today, I feel that calling so very strongly.

Even if you aren't a Christian, as a human, we should be ready to lift others up no matter what the color of their skin, how they worship, or what they believe.

I'm going to try to do that this week. I hope you will too.

Like We Were Children

I get a lot of good ideas when I'm running, which is really bad because I obviously can't write anything down and I also have a terrible memory.

I am Dory. Dory is me. 

A few days ago I was running and one of my favorite songs came on and I had this great idea for a blog post. Then REAL LIFE kept moving on and I...forgot.

But I remembered! 

I love the Christian rock band NEEDTOBREATHE and when these lyrics came on they just kind of spoke to me: 

"Let us love like we were children,

make us feel, like we’re still living-

in a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground.

Give us time to beat the system,

make us find what we’ve been missing-

In a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground." 

It's a little morbid to think of the world "burning to the ground", so I really focused on the "like we were children" part. Those are the words that got to me. See, school starts in just a few days and children are about to become my (our) job again. 

One thing I love about teaching is the way that kids view the world. At this point in their lives most of them are still so innocent and full of wonder. 

If you haven't seen Rise of the Guardians do it. 

It is so much fun to watch kids learn, grow, and succeed. That is what I am looking forward to the the most this year. Last year I struggled, but when I look back on the successes that my students did have I am genuinely moved. You have heard me say it over and over again: these kids change me. For the most part I am changed for the better. We are put to tests and faced with things that a lot of people do not have to deal with- but we do it.

I know that if I'm challenged it's because I need to change. 

If something isn't working I need to fix it.

The resilience that some students have always amazes. Students go through so much more than even know and it is a privilege to be a part of their lives (even if we might not always feel like it). 

I try to set goals for myself every year whether it be about how to lead my team or how to teach my students. This week my motto has been "less is more". I've just been muttering or yelling it down the halls at random times and people. (I'm sorry.)

Part of me isn't really sure what I want less/more of, but I'm working on it. I want more wonder and less worry, that's for sure. As a teacher I want to be able to see the world like my kids do; to wake up every day excited to learn.

I want to live, love, and learn like children do.

Simple. Fun. Wondrous.  

I'm nervous about next week, but I'm also excited. I've learned a lot this past week and I'm ready to get it out there and share it with my kids. 

I hope you're ready, too. 

The Good Fight

So, I haven't been around for awhile. Mostly that's because I gave up social media for Lent, but also because I've had nothing good to write about. I mean, there are things to write about, but they're actually all horrible and depressing.

Yeah, they're all about work.

This post is also about work...kind of.

Yesterday I had to run an errand for my mom before I went over to see her, which is no big deal. She lives in a small town and I live in a slightly bigger one that has more than just a Walmart, so she needed me to pick something up.The cute little store that I went to just happened to be owned by my former second grade teacher.

I walked in feeling nervous and looking like crap (it was haircut day) and saw her immediately. Now, some of you might think this is weird, but then you obviously don't know how deep my love of learning goes.

There are so many things I loved about my elementary school teachers. Mrs. Johnston, my kindergarten teacher used to play Phil Collins during naptime. Mrs. Beckham had the sweetest voice and was never mad at me, even when I worked ahead on my paper because I thought I knew what I was doing. (I didn't.) Mrs. Reddish, my second grade teacher, always encouraged me to be my weird, little, seven-year-old self. Mrs. Holler didn't really holler. Seriously, I could go on forever. Even up to high school when Mrs. Garcia let me hide in her podium (sorry!) and Mr. Gibson helped foster my love for reading and writing.

The conversation I had with Mrs. Reddish (I will never be able to call a teacher by their first name) was very brief, but I left that store feeling a little emotional. How can you not love the teacher who let you be yourself and read you Charlotte's Web for the first time? I loved second grade so much!

And now here I am twenty-five (OMG) years later and I am in her position. This is terrifying. I sent a couple of text messages after I left the store to two of my BFFs that read like this:

I love my job. You will probably get tired of me saying that, but I will always say it. I love my job, I love my school, I love my kids. 

This job is hard. This job does not get easier. You just get better at handling it. This week I've heard my colleagues moaning and groaning over a lot of things and, trust me, I've been doing it too. We have four days left until spring break. We start testing our younger grades next week. It's so much pressure and stress that we all feel like we're about to lose it. 

I've been dealing with some behavior issues in my class that have left me feeling incredibly worn and even a little bit lost. I'm lucky enough to work in place where I can vent with my team and go to my administration for advice without judgement. 

It's after I've done those things that I realize it isn't about ME. Yeah, I want my kids to love me like I loved Mrs. Reddish, but I have to show them that I love them if that's what I want. I know there are things they are going to remember about me, but what I really, really want them to remember is that I made them feel safe and I made them feel loved. 

Things they will actually remember: 

Miss Veale loves...

coffee.

Captain America.

pizza.

Harry Potter.

running.

If they remember those things then hopefully it will trigger some memory in them of some distant conversation they had with me. I hope they remembered that I smiled at them or hugged them or we argued whether or not Captain America could beat the Hulk. (We have some weird conversations in my class, okay?)

My elementary teachers and those select few from my older years will always be remembered because they made me feel those things: I could be me, I could learn, I was loved. 

To me, that's what teaching is all about. Sometimes I fail, but sometimes I get it right. 

Every Friday I give out a Star Student poster to a kid who has had great behavior. I alternate between boys and girls, so this week I had to pick a girl and there were three left on my list that haven't had it yet. Of course, the two that probably deserved it were absent and the third choice is the kid who I've been battling with for the past two months. 

Anyway, I give her the folder. She lights up. 

She says, "How come you're giving this to me?"

I tell her, "I don't know, it's just because I love you." 

She seemed satisfied with that answer as we left to go to dismissal, but when we got back to the room she hugged me, looked up at me and said "Why do you love me?" 

Why do I love you?

Because I do.

Do I always like you?

Oh, hell no. 

Do I want you to succeed? 

More than you know. 

Will I continue to expect only the best from you?

You bet. 

Is it going to be easy?

Nope.

Can we do it?

We have to try. 

Happy Sunday. 

They're Just Kids

I love my job. It's a good job and, like I've said a bajillion times before, it's a hard job. I know there are jobs more difficult and I know there are jobs more rewarding. I know that know matter what you do, you always have a chance to make and impact in someone else's life. I get all of that and I never want to degrade what anyone else does, this is just how I feel about my job.

Kids are important. Kids are the future. As teachers we literally see the future every single day. Let me tell you, folks, it's scary. Okay, that might be going a little overboard, but it's hard to be serious when, in a classroom of second graders, someone farts and it takes ten minutes to get everyone back under control. (This happens more than once a week, okay.)

Bodily functions aside, there are so many other things I sometimes forget about kids. Sometimes I think we are so focused on what we need them to do and what our expectations are, that I think we forget they're just kids.

But really, it's not the fact that they're just kids that bothering me these days. I know that kids are loud and impulsive. I know they need to express their feelings in weird ways and can't always control their emotions. Kids are my business, even though I don't have any of my own. In my eight (short) years of teaching I've seen a lot. I've seen kids of all different, shapes, sizes, and colors. I've had students from broken homes, perfect homes, and no homes at all. There's kids with mental and emotional problems that I can't even begin to comprehend.

That's what is killing me right now. The fact that these kids are dealing with things that we don't even know about. I've been really frustrated with my students this week (okay, this year) and I think that this is my main problem. I focus so much on what's happening in my classroom: how they are behaving, what they are doing or not doing, how they are interacting with others. When my focus is on all of those things, I lose sight of what's really important: the kid.

The need to reprimand a behavior is a common reaction, but it isn't always the reaction they kid needs. It's really, really hard to take a step back from the situation and just think about it. Which is kind of funny to write, because I just attended a training that said "IT'S OKAY TO TAKE SOME TIME TO THINK". (Which probably means that I need to pay more attention.)

It's easy to jump to a punishment, write a note, or make a phone call. The hard part is working it out with the kid. Asking the hard questions and figuring out what in the world is going on with them, instead of just punishing them for something they may not have any control over.

Seeking first to understand is hard. When I talk about the Seven Habits of Happy Kids with my students that one is the most difficult to explain, because sometimes I struggle with it. By sometimes I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I love my jobs. I love these kids. I might complain about them a lot, but it's because I want more from them and for them. I want them to succeed no matter what their circumstances Even though I know that some of their circumstances are not the greatest, I know they can overcome them. They are the future and, yes, sometimes the future is a little shaky and often times it farts in the middle of class, but that's okay. (Everybody farts, y'all.)

So, this week...okay, next week I'm going to remember that they're just kids. I going to think before I react and ask the hard questions. And, if all goes to crap, I'll just get up the next day and do it all over again.

XOXO,
Ash