What Good Teachers Do

I debated writing this post for a few reasons that may only make sense to me.

A. I don't want you to think I know what good teachers do because I think I'm a good teacher. (Also, I don't want you thinking I'm fishing for compliments. I am not.)

B. I don't want you to think I'm talking about you?

Okay, so. What do good teachers do? I'm sure if you ask any teacher they are going to give you a lot of different answers, because I don't think there is just one thing that good teachers do. Do good teacher follow the curriculum or do they follow their heart? Why can't they do both? Is there a book a about good teaching? Sure! Are there a lot of books about good teaching? Probably.

Have I read any of them? No.

I know. I love to read, but I'm just not good at reading self-help and informational text.

I think that good teachers care, and not because they feel like they have to. We all have those students that push our buttons and get on our nerves and basically drive us up the wall. Those are the ones we should care about most because those are the ones who need it the most. Does it always work like that? Absolutely not. Sometimes, even as adults, it's hard to muster the strength to care about someone when it seems like their sole purpose is to make you miserable. Should we always try? Yeah, I guess.

Investing in your kids. This may kind of seem like showing kids you care, but maybe it isn't. Maybe I'm really tired and shouldn't be blogging right now. By investing I mean more than hugging and talking to. Engage in an actual conversation. Show up at one of their extra event. Have lunch with them (UGH, lunch bunch). Work with them, encourage them, tell them you're proud of their accomplishments. There are so many ways we can invest in our kids and some of us are just not doing it. These kids, the little ones in our care right now? They are the future. This is it. It is literally right in front of us. Don't we want to make it better than it is right now?

Show up. Show up for work. Show up for life. Bring your best self. No matter what you're going through out in the real world. Trust me, I KNOW that shit gets hard. You don't have to tell me that there are things that you just can't control. But sometimes we just need to pick ourselves up and show up.

These past few days I've been out of my classroom to facilitate academic progress meetings. I've been sitting with other teachers and talking about other students and, damn, I miss my kids. This is probably the first year where I say things like that. I'm more frustrated by not being with my kids than I am about writing sub plans.

I miss showing up for them, you know? I've been greeting them before my meetings and checking in at lunch and recess, but it isn't the same. This year's group of kids is so funny and real and I've really been missing that time with them.

Well, I've kind of enjoyed bothered the front office people and yelling at people to "get out of my office", too, but it isn't the same as watching a little one learn, explore, and just enjoy life. (I hope they are enjoying life?)

Teachers. We only have a day and a half before spring break. After that, the end is nigh.

Show up for your kids. Love them. Invest in them. Yell at them if you need to, but make sure they know why.

Be good, okay?

Also, you got this.

Where Your Light Shines Through

I've been working on this post for a few months now but could never seem to get the words right. "Working on it" pretty much means that I wrote a title, a sentence, and then forgot all about it. It's been a while since I've thrown any words out in the world so I figured it was time.

We've all got baggage, yeah? We've all got things that bring us down, keep us down, and hurt us.  Life is hard. That's nothing we didn't already know. There will always be something that gets in the way of our happiness, but what you do with the hurt and the pain...that's where the light is.

UPDATE: I have once again stepped away from this post and now I'm back again. We'll see if I finish this time.

Okay. I wanted to write this for a few reasons. I try my best to stay positive in tough life situations and I like to share my experiences to help others.

UPDATE #2: I tried to work on this a couple of days ago and it didn't work. I will persist!

I feel like this is the time of year when things get crazy for everyone. It's almost spring break for me and I literally feel like I'm running around trying to put out little fires all day long. Sometimes I feel like I'm on fire.*

Fire is not what I mean by "light", however. By "light" I mean showing your goodness and positivity. It's so easy to complain and bitch about stuff. So. Easy. Shining your light is the hard part. So often we get lost in our thoughts and lives that we forget as teachers, as friends, as family members, as humans that there is always an opportunity to show kindness and love to others. We don't know if what we're going through will help others and we get so focused on ourselves that we fail to see that someone else might be experiencing the same thing. 

I don't mean that you should go out and shout your problems to the world at all. Most of the time we try to hide those things anyway. I think what I mean is how you react to a situation let's others see different parts of you. What they see, and what you show, might be the thing that they need. 

I know that I am not the perfect example of this, but I also know that I'm trying. There have been so many changes (good and bad) in my life in the past year that my emotions are constantly going a million different ways. I struggle every day with so many feelings! I do try (and fail miserably sometimes) to be that light that others need. I know I'm not that good at it sometimes, but I think that putting in the effort is part of it, too. 

Being someone who others can talk to or helping without being asked is a great way to shine a little bit of light on someone's day. Sometimes if we're having a rough day in class one of my kiddos will just come up and hug me like they know it's just what I need. A lot of the times it is. Also, a lot of the times I need them to stay in their seats. ;) 

Even when it's tough to smile or laugh or help, you never know when you might be the light that someone needs. 

Keep shining. 

*"This girl is on fiiiiiire." 

Sometimes I sing this to my class when I'm mad. 

Like Herding Cats

I am so, so tired.

A couple of weeks ago those memes starting popping up...you know the ones?

I'm going to have to admit to LOLing loudly at that last one because I felt like that, oh, 37 times this week and it's only Wednesday. (It's Wednesday, right?) 

Okay, so, the end of the year is hard. Last year around this time I wrote this post about how I wasn't sad that the year was over because seriously last year was the worst year ever and I needed a break real bad, y'all. (Ironically I see all of those students from last year and I love them still. Okay, most of them.) 

Honestly, my kids checked out a week or so ago. Me? Not so much. I've still got a to-do list and on top of that list is keeping 23 7-8-year-olds entertained and, you know, alive. *Insert laughing/crying emoji here.* Sometimes I feel like I should be singing and dancing, sometimes my teacher voice is just a little too loud, and sometimes I just want to sit behind my desk and organize my paperclips. 

So, the end of the year is here and I see a lot of us doing and saying the same things. We have the same conversations and complain about what we need to get done. Our kids are having trouble and so are we. It takes a lot of patience that I feel only teachers have. Sometimes I lose that patience and it's a daily struggle, if we're being honest. There really isn't a tired like a teacher at the end of the year tired, but we make it work. 

I was texting my one of my BFFs the other day and we were talking about the end of the year. Her kid is in my class and we were joking about something he wanted to do. In my end of year post last year she was one of the ones I may have made fun of for crying (love you, buddy), but her comment to me was that this year is going to be "tear-worthy". 

I'm going to have to agree. 

Even when I'm angry or upset they still manage to make me smile. They hug me, make jokes, and tell me they love me every day. I don't have kids of my own, but I do know what the unconditional love of a child feels like and it's a beautiful thing. 

These kids are the coolest I've ever had. They get me They make me smile with the simplest things. Sometimes when I don't think they're listening they surprise me with some amazingly profound answer and my heart kind of grows. I have had so much fun nerding out about superheroes and books and movies with them. This class has helped me through the darkest time in my life and even though it's something they might not be aware of or remember, I will always remember their sweet hugs and kind words when I was broken. 

Yeah, I love these kids. I might cry a little. (I might be crying a little bit now.) 

It's still tough to get them to do stuff, though. 

Make the most of your seven days, friends. Remember that you are shaping tiny humans and you're going to send them off into the world. Help them to be kind and smart and love each other. 

Herd your cats well. 

Oh, and have a nice summer. 

Find Your People

Most of my posts start with an idea and then end up being a few months in the making. Maybe I've developed ADD in my old age, or maybe I'm just really forgetful. Honestly, I feel like this post has been my entire life in the making. That's probably a little dramatic. Let me start over.

Life is hard. 

Last year I wrote this post about not doing life alone. It's important to have people in your life to keep you accountable, to keep you in check, and to motivate you. I feel like I'm at a good place in my life right now. Things have definitely been different and tough these past couple months and my family and I are learning how to deal with a lot of things.  I've had my people, though, and they help a lot.

So, maybe this is a thank you. Or maybe it's just a random rambling of thoughts. I don't really know. 

All I know it that it's good to have people who let you be yourself and encourage you to be the best you there is.

It's been a kind of weird road for me to get to a point where I'm comfortable being myself around people. I'm weird and I know it. I've always been this way. I love to make people laugh and I say a lot of stupid things. Most people just roll with it and that's what I love. Emotions (mostly crying) sometimes make me uncomfortable but I think my friends know that if they come to I'll listen and try to make them feel better by saying weird things.

I am Chandler. Chandler is me. 

The fact that people still want to be friends with me after I say stupid shit to them says a lot about them, really. But that's what makes it so good. There are those who let me ramble on but who, in turn, listen and give advice when I need it. Even when it's hard to ask for advice or to admit when I'm wrong about something. (Hey, it happens.)

I am un-ironically #blessed with quite possibly the best friends a person could ever ask for. They are new and old, young and old, near and far. They are my people and I am eternally grateful. 

I've got people who listen when I want to talk about anything and everything. People who send me pictures of cats, videos of cats, shirts with cats on them, pictures of their own cats...well, you get the idea. (Random pics of Chris Evans also work, just FYI.) 

I love that these people get me. That I can talk about books, comics, movies, cats, coffee, Captain America, teaching...anything. 

In turn, I hope they know they can come to me too. 

Like I said, I feel like it's important to not go through life alone. You've got to find your people. Find the ones who love you unconditionally, no matter how weird or crazy you are. Find them, and hold on to them. (But, like, in a safe way. Don't hold them hostage. That's bad.) 

A Grateful Heart

As most of you know a lot has happened in the past few weeks concerning my family. It's been just over three weeks since my stepfather unexpectedly passed away. I am not always so eloquent when I speak, so I thought I'd try to put some of my feelings into words and throw them into the vastness of the internet, if you'll let me.

These three weeks have been hard. This is not something that I thought would ever happen to me, my sister, or our family. Honestly, I don't think anyone expects someone they love to die, but it happens.

I was five years old when Tim first came into my life. For most of my years I would argue that I was actually six, just to make him mad and because I wanted to be right. For those of you who don't know, I have a dad whom I love a lot. We have a great relationship, but Tim was a huge part of my life growing up. He helped my mother support me financial, put me through private school, and eventually helped me when I went to college.

Some people think that's what matters, but it doesn't. Tim loved me from day one and, honestly, the feeling was mutual. As a child I never longed for love or affection. I come from a big, crazy, loving family and he only added to that. I was never his stepdaughter and always his daughter. Even after he and my mom split up. Even after our relationship was strained.

At his funeral the people who spoke talked about his contagious smile, giving nature, and big heart. How he could talk to anyone and make really, really stupid jokes all the time.

Okay, maybe not that last one, but they weren't his teenage daughter, were they?

Tim was charismatic and people loved him.

Especially me.

Our relationship was on the mend within the past few years, and I am grateful for that. I'm grateful for the few times we got to see each other or for the phone calls we exchanged. I'll never forget the last conversation I had with him or the fact that the last thing I told him was "I love you".

Life is short and fragile. It sucks and it's beautiful. If I've learned anything from this it's to not take anything for granted. My sister and I keep having these types of conversations that usually end with something like "he wouldn't want that". It's a cliched phrase to use, but we know how he would have wanted us to live our lives. He would want us to be happy. To love. To be kind. To be grateful.

I am grateful.

I'm grateful for the time that I got to spend with Tim. I'm grateful for my OCD cleaning tendencies that could have only been inherited from him (as my mother tells me). I'm grateful for the arguments we used to have deciding who loved the other more (there's a trick, I'll teach you). I am so, so grateful for all of the people in my life because of Tim. (Like, number one is my sister...but don't tell her that.)

Some days I wake up and I don't remember that he's gone. I know that there will always be days like that. This isn't something that we can get used to, but it isn't something that's going to go away. It's hard to realize that life goes on around you. The earth still spins even though you feel like it's stopped.

I am grateful for the people in my life who help me keep spinning. For my mom and sister and our amazingly supportive families. My friends, coworkers, and even my kiddies at school.

I'm grateful for a church family who supports me, prays for me, and with me...who loves me and reminds me that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, also. We have been leaning heavily on our faith more than ever, thankful that we have such a firm foundation and such strong beliefs.

There is so much life to love and embrace and, as cheesy as it sounds, I hope you don't waste it. I hope I don't waste it either.

Thanks for reading.

Love you most. ;) 

XOXO

The Time is Now

There's a Kid President video that talks about how now is the time to be awesome. Now is the time to show kindness, to do something good, to be your best self.

In light of recent events around the world this weekend, I'm going to reiterate that statement.

The time is now, friends.

It's time to let go of our pettiness and anger.

It's time to love.

We have been watching this world fall apart for months, even years. Lives are threatened and ended every single day because of race or religion or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. People are dying because they left their homes and went about their normal day.

It isn't fair that these things happen and, more than that, it isn't right. We see these events on our news every day and we ignore them or argue about them. We fight about who is right or wrong, argue about race and religion, but do we help anything by doing that?

The answer is no, people.

By posting those arguments and by choosing sides we don't do anything but continue to harm. To me, there is only one side we need to choose:

Life.

I'm on the side of life, what about you?

Not only am I on the side of life, I'm on the side of love.

I have been in the position where I wanted to hate in my own personal life and it got me nowhere. Okay, that's a lie. It got me depressed and angry. That's what hate does. Hate solves nothing and it only brings a person down. If we continue to show hatred then nothing will ever change.

My pastor shared an amazing message about this today. We, as humans, carry so many emotions and when we hear of terrible things there are many, many reactions we can have. We can hate and want revenge, but in the end that isn't going to help anything. The only way we are going to change anything, including ourselves is to love. We can spread that love, share the light, be the light with the world. Be there for those who are sad and suffering. We can pray for peace for all of those and hope. We can hope for things to be better one day.

Choosing love isn't always easy, though. One of my favorite quotes actually comes from the Harry Potter series (that should not surprise anyone). It's this:

"We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy." 

That's pretty heavy stuff. Choosing love isn't easy, but it's right. Hoping for something better in trying times isn't easy, but it helps. Forgiveness...man, that's a tough one...but it's right.

Maybe we aren't ready to forgive, but in the meantime there are other things we can do. There are other things to focus on than hatred against others.

As a Christian, I know I am called to love and I know I know I know it's something that I struggle with sometimes. But now, today, I feel that calling so very strongly.

Even if you aren't a Christian, as a human, we should be ready to lift others up no matter what the color of their skin, how they worship, or what they believe.

I'm going to try to do that this week. I hope you will too.

Like We Were Children

I get a lot of good ideas when I'm running, which is really bad because I obviously can't write anything down and I also have a terrible memory.

I am Dory. Dory is me. 

A few days ago I was running and one of my favorite songs came on and I had this great idea for a blog post. Then REAL LIFE kept moving on and I...forgot.

But I remembered! 

I love the Christian rock band NEEDTOBREATHE and when these lyrics came on they just kind of spoke to me: 

"Let us love like we were children,

make us feel, like we’re still living-

in a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground.

Give us time to beat the system,

make us find what we’ve been missing-

In a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground." 

It's a little morbid to think of the world "burning to the ground", so I really focused on the "like we were children" part. Those are the words that got to me. See, school starts in just a few days and children are about to become my (our) job again. 

One thing I love about teaching is the way that kids view the world. At this point in their lives most of them are still so innocent and full of wonder. 

If you haven't seen Rise of the Guardians do it. 

It is so much fun to watch kids learn, grow, and succeed. That is what I am looking forward to the the most this year. Last year I struggled, but when I look back on the successes that my students did have I am genuinely moved. You have heard me say it over and over again: these kids change me. For the most part I am changed for the better. We are put to tests and faced with things that a lot of people do not have to deal with- but we do it.

I know that if I'm challenged it's because I need to change. 

If something isn't working I need to fix it.

The resilience that some students have always amazes. Students go through so much more than even know and it is a privilege to be a part of their lives (even if we might not always feel like it). 

I try to set goals for myself every year whether it be about how to lead my team or how to teach my students. This week my motto has been "less is more". I've just been muttering or yelling it down the halls at random times and people. (I'm sorry.)

Part of me isn't really sure what I want less/more of, but I'm working on it. I want more wonder and less worry, that's for sure. As a teacher I want to be able to see the world like my kids do; to wake up every day excited to learn.

I want to live, love, and learn like children do.

Simple. Fun. Wondrous.  

I'm nervous about next week, but I'm also excited. I've learned a lot this past week and I'm ready to get it out there and share it with my kids. 

I hope you're ready, too. 

Kids. Are. Awesome.

Teaching is hard. Yeah, I’ve said that a million times (hyperbole) in these little posts but sometimes even I forget how true it is. There are so many things that we have to do for the job that sometimes we forget what the job is about: kids.

Lately things have been a whirlwind of testing, meetings, observations, and paperwork. Those things don’t matter, though. Not really. Okay, they matter in terms of staying organized, keeping policy, being prepared, and, of course, doing your job.

I love kids. I love them in a completely non-creepy-oh-they’re-so-cute kind of way, all right? Of course, just because you like kids doesn’t mean you should become a teacher. You become a teacher because you like kids, learning, and being poor. (HAHAHAHA!)

I’m mostly kidding, I do that a lot. However, I do feel (and know) that there is more to teaching than just loving kids. Teaching is a calling. Teaching is not something to be taken lightly. Those who can’t, do not teach. But that calling, that need to make a difference, to continue your own learning every single day…that is fueled by the kids.

Kids. Are. Awesome.

They are tiny little sponges soaking up the knowledge that you have to give them. And, hopefully, you’ve got some. Kids are amazing, resilient little creatures that give you their heart and soul.

Yeah, you. Kids are the most honest things in all the world. Not only do they tell you everything that is wrong about you, but they tell you what’s wrong with them. Sure, it’s not always in a language you understand, but if it were would teaching be so easy?

Oh, hell no.

The ones that need love the most show us in the most unloving ways, right? I can’t tell you how true this is. (Literally, I can’t tell you because I’m sure it’s not allowed or something.) I’ve seen, heard, and lived through so many situations that are absolutely heartbreaking. Kids these days go through things that I could never dream of or wish on my worst enemy (okay, maybe this one person…), but they make it through. They make it through because of people who care. People (hopefully) like teachers.

Teaching is the best job. It’s the best and the hardest, because being a superhero is hard! Our capes are nametags and Expo marker smudges and leftover Peeps in plastic baggies because a kid really likes you. (True story.)

We have to wear our hearts on our sleeves and put on our mean faces and loud voices sometimes, but that’s just how it is! That’s the beauty of teaching. You get to be the good guy and the bad guy! The superhero and the villian! Captain America and the Winter Soldier!

Have you seen this yet? You should. And take me with you.

I might complain about my job: the long hours, the grading, the chatty kiddos…but I love it. There is not one thing in the world I would rather be doing. Okay, unless you read my Facebook status this morning about missing my couch and my books, WHATEVER.

I love my job, and I hope you do, too. I hope you love your kids even when you’ve got on your angry face, even when you’re using your loud voice, even when you’re up to your eyeballs in papers to grade. Because if you love them through all of that, it makes a difference.

You make a difference.

And I like you.

Here’s a fun little kid tidbit from last week:

Boy to girl sitting being him: “Hey, stay away from my butt. I just farted.”

I hope they always make you smile.