Also, crying makes me uncomfortable so if I made fun of you on Friday please know that I'm sorry and it's just because crying makes me feel weird.
Here's the thing, though: I didn't cry because I am genuinely happy that this year is over. I've hardly posted anything this year because I really try to find the positive in all situations and share that knowledge and finding it this year was very, very difficult.
Now, don't get me wrong, okay? I had plenty of good moments with my class. I loved each and every one of them differently and I am so glad I got to spend 180 day with them, but it was hard. I said in this post last year that it was my best year, and I'm going to have to stick with that. If last year was my best, then this year was the most challenging.
The year started out difficult considering I started a new behavior plan in my class. I did away with the color chart and relied solely on a training I'd taken over the summer and my school's leadership plan. I knew it was going to be hard, but I managed it and in the long run we made it work. I don't feel like a color chart would have been helpful for some of my students (who would have been on red every single day, for real) and I think that students taken responsibility for their actions is much more effective.
It's that thinking that kept me going this year.
What's fair for one student isn't fair for all.
What works for one won't work with another.
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
This year was a year of learning for me. I always joke that the thing that teaching has taught me is patience, but it's easy to point out all of the times I lost my patience with my students. Instead of losing it I focused on trying to be calm and using a soft voice instead of yelling. Honestly, the soft voice kind of freaked them out so it was a win. I also really tried to have fun with them because I think we all always forget that they're just kids, and sometimes they can't help what they do.
I definitely felt like I grew as a teacher this year. Like I said, it was the most challenging year I've had. I've never had students as difficult as I did this year, but I've also never felt closer to my team and my colleagues, either. I am thankful for the people I work with who let me vent, gave advice, or just agreed when they knew it was what I needed.
So, I guess am a little bit sad about the end of the year. I know there's always going to be students who leave a mark on your heart, good or bad. There's going to be your mini-mes and the ones that get your jokes better than most adults do. The ones that you could hug all day whose parents don't believe how good they are at school. And the ones that make you work for it: the ones that keep you on your toes, keep you up at night, and break your heart every single day.
Being a teacher is a privilege...but so is summer vacation. Enjoy.
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