For What It's Worth

A few years ago when I was teaching first grade I had this special kid. He came to me without knowing any English, way behind academically, and with a serious medical condition. My first thought was pretty much a "Why me?" kind of thing. I think that we as teachers feel like that when we're given something, or rather someone, challenging. So that was me for a few weeks with this guy. Seriously, why me?

Well, here's why. This kid was funny. He may not have been fluent in English and he may not have been very big, but his personality was huge. We would spend our recess time practicing words and playing around. He was so goofy and sweet that eventually the class opened up and began to see that to. Sometimes I even had to get on to him for talking! I got watch him go on to second grade and then I had the pleasure of teaching his younger sister, who was just as sweet as him. Eventually they moved and switched schools, but I never forgot either one of them. I still have drawings and notes form both of them that I can handle parting with.

Today I learned that this cute little boy passed away. My school has seen tragedy before, but I've never personally felt the weight of it. The death of a child is a hard thing to grasp. I can't imagine what it feels like as a parent, but I know that my chest is aching now. I feel like I put so much effort into this boy, but what he gave me was so much bigger.

Teaching seems like a simple profession to some. To others, though, it's the end-all be-all. There are plenty of quotes about how teachers change the world, how we make such a big impact on kids, how we're shaping the future.

Yeah, that's all true...but sometimes we forgot that those kids change us. I know that I'm changed every single year. I've said that in a post before about how they make me better, and sometimes they make me worse. But, better or worse, at the end of each year I am changed.

The kids are the ones making the impacts, we are just the facilitators. We get to watch them and, if we're lucky, we get to see them change the world.

I'm sad that Sebastian won't get to change the world, but I do know that he changed mine.

There are fifteen days left of school and, while they are going to be the most challenging all year, I hope that you make the best of them.

This is a picture he drew for me at the end of our year together. It is him with all of his family and when I pointed to the person in pencil on the right he said, "Oh, that's you". After a moment he picked up his highlighter and drew another person, then told me it was my mom. The fact that he drew me in a picture with his family always stuck with me. I am glad I knew him.