This Job Doesn't Always Suck (I Promise)

Oh, hey. It's been a while since I've sat down and put some words out here, so I thought I'd get on that. I mentioned a while back in This Job Sucks (But Not Really) that I didn't post a lot of things last year because a lot of the time I couldn't find the positive things to focus on. That's not the case this year and that's a good thing. I guess I just keep getting wrapped up in other things that I forget that I might have things to say.

This year has been going well and I know it's a huge mixture of things. I feel pretty confident about my classroom management and I really have a good group of kids. One thing that I'm really trying to focus on is not rewarding every little thing. I know, I can sense some of your teacher minds telling me I'm crazy, but I've found that it actually kind of works. I've mentioned before a fairly extensive classroom management training that I've done called Responsive Classroom and it's something that I truly believe in and (try to) use daily. I know that it's a learning process and I have to find what works for my class, but so far my students are doing pretty well. (I also did this last year and really enjoy it.)

The point of not giving rewards is that students should know the right way to behave. If we reward them every time they do something right, then they're going to grow up to be adults who demand recognition for every little thing. And we, as adults, know that that is just not how life works, am I right? So, I don't do a lot of individual behavior charts and things in my class, but I do special things like choosing a Mystery Leader and Mystery Line Walker. We do table points and are working on a system of rewards for good days with specialists (trust me, that is a whole other post...). But, for the most part, I have some good eggs in my class. I do have a few students that still ask for rewards or sometimes get greedy, but we're working on it.

One thing that made me smile last week was this:

Sometimes I do give rewards because I have some students who just need that love. And I'm not saying that it's something that stems from home, I just know that sometimes they need to know that i love them. Last week I gave one of my kids a choice of four little plastic dinosaurs because he had a really, really good week. He deserved it. Honestly. He really, really did. (Sometimes it's hard.) He chose what he wanted and I left the room to go to my dismissal duty. I was kind of iffy about it, but when I told him he could his smile was huge. Then, when I came back, I found that note on my desk. 

Last year, even though it was tough, I still had a lot of awesome kids. Today was the last day for our student-led conferences (where the students tell their parents about their accomplishments) and my kids did really well. I couldn't help but think back to a situation that I had last year in preparation for all of these meetings, though. I shared with a few of my friends what happened when one of my high performing students came in with their parents and the parents were...not nice? It wasn't that they were unkind to me (although they did ask for hand sanitizer immediately after shaking my hand), but I was very disappointed in the way they treated their very intelligent, very hard working child. It was just little, nit-picky things, but it upset the student and it upset me. I don't often get emotional, but I remember calling my own mother, bursting into tears, and thanking her for not being an asshole when I was growing up. I was a fairly intelligent child (mediocre adult), but I never felt pressured to do more than simply my best. I know that my parents were disappointed if I didn't do well. (I personally thought the world would end when I got my first B in third grade.) I also knew that my parents would support me no matter what and would always want what was best for me. This kid had so much pressure on them and I hated to see them upset. It's so easy to try to focus on the negative, but it's so much better to point out the positive. That's something I'm striving for this year. 

My conferences this year were amazing. The kids did well, the parents were proud. I almost got emotional just listening to parents telling their kids, my kids how proud they were of them. I love that. I love to see my kids lifted up by people who love them. Like I said above, sometimes it's so, so hard. But it's also so, so worth it. 

Well, there's a bunch of rambly things that I hope you can make some sense of. I hope you're having a great year so far and that you and your kiddos are having fun. This job is hard, but it's good. 

Here's a picture of a cookie I got after a conference. I'm a little spoiled. 

It's like they know me or something.

Happy teaching.

The Time is Now

There's a Kid President video that talks about how now is the time to be awesome. Now is the time to show kindness, to do something good, to be your best self.

In light of recent events around the world this weekend, I'm going to reiterate that statement.

The time is now, friends.

It's time to let go of our pettiness and anger.

It's time to love.

We have been watching this world fall apart for months, even years. Lives are threatened and ended every single day because of race or religion or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. People are dying because they left their homes and went about their normal day.

It isn't fair that these things happen and, more than that, it isn't right. We see these events on our news every day and we ignore them or argue about them. We fight about who is right or wrong, argue about race and religion, but do we help anything by doing that?

The answer is no, people.

By posting those arguments and by choosing sides we don't do anything but continue to harm. To me, there is only one side we need to choose:

Life.

I'm on the side of life, what about you?

Not only am I on the side of life, I'm on the side of love.

I have been in the position where I wanted to hate in my own personal life and it got me nowhere. Okay, that's a lie. It got me depressed and angry. That's what hate does. Hate solves nothing and it only brings a person down. If we continue to show hatred then nothing will ever change.

My pastor shared an amazing message about this today. We, as humans, carry so many emotions and when we hear of terrible things there are many, many reactions we can have. We can hate and want revenge, but in the end that isn't going to help anything. The only way we are going to change anything, including ourselves is to love. We can spread that love, share the light, be the light with the world. Be there for those who are sad and suffering. We can pray for peace for all of those and hope. We can hope for things to be better one day.

Choosing love isn't always easy, though. One of my favorite quotes actually comes from the Harry Potter series (that should not surprise anyone). It's this:

"We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy." 

That's pretty heavy stuff. Choosing love isn't easy, but it's right. Hoping for something better in trying times isn't easy, but it helps. Forgiveness...man, that's a tough one...but it's right.

Maybe we aren't ready to forgive, but in the meantime there are other things we can do. There are other things to focus on than hatred against others.

As a Christian, I know I am called to love and I know I know I know it's something that I struggle with sometimes. But now, today, I feel that calling so very strongly.

Even if you aren't a Christian, as a human, we should be ready to lift others up no matter what the color of their skin, how they worship, or what they believe.

I'm going to try to do that this week. I hope you will too.

Meanest Teacher Ever

My job is great.

I love it a lot.

But, sometimes...

Ugh.

Sometimes you really feel like the meanest teacher ever.

Like today, for example.

First of all, this week has already been nutso. We were out Monday and Tuesday, it's a full moon, and Halloween is on Saturday.

This feeling has been building for a few weeks now and today it kind of came to a head. My class was working in centers after an extensive review or rules and directions the day before. So, things were going great until it was time to clean up and switch. There were several groups that didn't clean up and as I walked around to monitor the process I noticed that many of them hadn't even done their center work. 

Now, centers is not a time for play in my classroom. I spent a great deal of time yesterday discussing expectations and I was really hoping that today would be better. 

I. 

Was. 

Wrong. 

(This is where the mean part comes in.) 

So, instead of finishing up our centers we all sat back down and went over our expectations AGAIN. This time we wrote them all on posters that I mentioned we would go over every single day until we got it right. 

You're probably thinking I'm a psychopath for getting this pissed off about centers, but we've been doing rotations since about the second week of school and there was really no reason for the types of behavior I was seeing to be happening. You might also think that I put too much pressure on my second graders. 

Well, here's the deal: 

I don't. I don't put a lot of pressure on them, but I do have high expectations for them. This is something I mention to these students every single day. Every day in my classroom I let them know that my expectations are high because I know they can do it. 

Were my second graders upset that we had to sit and talk about expectations and center rules instead of being set free to do things? Absolutely. 

Did I still have at least 80% of my class participating in writing those expectations? You know it. 

My kids know my expectations are high. They know that even though we had a four-day weekend that our rules did not change. They know that just because it's almost Halloween they still have to act like small, respectable humans. 

Am I mean because my expectations are high? Sometimes. 

Will I lower them? I won't. 

There are so many things I want my kids to know, but independent learning is high on the list. I try to start that early in the year and stress the importance of taking their learning into their own hands. You might think that sounds crazy but I truly believe that my second graders can do that. 

So, I felt mean at the end of the day. (Especially after THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED DURING MATH CENTERS, OMG.) 

My expectations will remain high and I will continue to remind them every darn day. And if that makes me mean...well, okay. ;) 

No Man is an Island

I've been playing around with the idea for this post for a few months. Probably since before the end of last school year and I just couldn't find the words to make it work. I don't know if these are the words that are going to make it work, but I'm going to try.

This weekend my sister and I went on kind of a "spiritual binge" at Rock the Universe (a two-night Christian music festival at Universal Studios) and a lot of it was incredibly eye-opening.

I titled this post "No Man is an Island" for a couple of reasons:

#1: It's a song by one of my very favorite bands Tenth Avenue North.

#2: It's a song that speaks to me about life. My life now, and what my life used to be like.

#3: It's a cool title.

Okay, so I get a lot of flack from people who think I'm kind of cranky and moody and, well, you get the idea. Sometimes I can be those things, but most of the time I try really, really hard not to be.

See, there was a time in my life when I was really cranky. Like...

Mean.

Angry.

Hateful.

I don't want to be those things anymore, so I do my best to be...nice. A lot of the time I'm just really sarcastic and people don't get it. I'm working on that too.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that if I didn't have people in my life to keep me balanced I would still be that person. So many things have changed since my life was like that. I remember so vividly my very first evaluation at the end of my first year of teaching. My observer mentioned that my mentor teachers said something along the lines of me "not working well with others".

That was my first reaction and my initial feeling. Of course, we always want to blame others for our mistakes because that's easier. It's easier not to feel accountable for anything, including our own faults. It's taken me a while to get through that initial evaluation. I think about it every year when I start fresh with my team. I think about how we share ideas, triumphs, challenges...and I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I'm not alone and that I have people who have my back. 

I feel like this goes with so many other parts of my life, though. I love to be alone, but I know that it's important to have people to support you. For me, the change started when I began attending church regularly. It had been so long since I'd let anyone into my life that it was kind of scary. But, here I was reconnecting with my best friend, making new friends, and welcoming God back into my life. 

I know that getting back into church is way turned my life around. I know that committing to a life with Christ is what helped get me over whatever I was dealing with. (I think I'm mostly over it?) 

Because of that I'm able to share my life with others. Because of that I know I'm not alone. I think it's important to find your people, no matter where you are. I have a lot of people and I'm so, so grateful for all of them. 

One of the things that stuck with me the most this weekend was something Mike Donehey, the lead singer for Tenth Avenue North said. I can't remember the exact quote, but it he was talking about wanting to be used by God in any way possible and how important it was to not look down on others or judge others because we think we are better than them. I think that's so important, and it's one of the things I struggle with everyday. It's not easy to admit that, but it's true. 

I have people to keep me in check everywhere I turn. There are so many things that I need help with and I'm glad that my eyes are finally open to that. I'm thankful to have a family that keeps me on my toes, people who help me be a better teacher, lifegroups that help me be a stronger Christian, friends to be honest with me when it matters most. 

We are not islands. We can't do life alone. I'm thankful everyday for the people I get to do life with.   

Remember that next time you think I'm being mean.

That last part was a joke. 

Here's the video for this lovely song: 

Like We Were Children

I get a lot of good ideas when I'm running, which is really bad because I obviously can't write anything down and I also have a terrible memory.

I am Dory. Dory is me. 

A few days ago I was running and one of my favorite songs came on and I had this great idea for a blog post. Then REAL LIFE kept moving on and I...forgot.

But I remembered! 

I love the Christian rock band NEEDTOBREATHE and when these lyrics came on they just kind of spoke to me: 

"Let us love like we were children,

make us feel, like we’re still living-

in a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground.

Give us time to beat the system,

make us find what we’ve been missing-

In a world, I know, that’s burning to the ground." 

It's a little morbid to think of the world "burning to the ground", so I really focused on the "like we were children" part. Those are the words that got to me. See, school starts in just a few days and children are about to become my (our) job again. 

One thing I love about teaching is the way that kids view the world. At this point in their lives most of them are still so innocent and full of wonder. 

If you haven't seen Rise of the Guardians do it. 

It is so much fun to watch kids learn, grow, and succeed. That is what I am looking forward to the the most this year. Last year I struggled, but when I look back on the successes that my students did have I am genuinely moved. You have heard me say it over and over again: these kids change me. For the most part I am changed for the better. We are put to tests and faced with things that a lot of people do not have to deal with- but we do it.

I know that if I'm challenged it's because I need to change. 

If something isn't working I need to fix it.

The resilience that some students have always amazes. Students go through so much more than even know and it is a privilege to be a part of their lives (even if we might not always feel like it). 

I try to set goals for myself every year whether it be about how to lead my team or how to teach my students. This week my motto has been "less is more". I've just been muttering or yelling it down the halls at random times and people. (I'm sorry.)

Part of me isn't really sure what I want less/more of, but I'm working on it. I want more wonder and less worry, that's for sure. As a teacher I want to be able to see the world like my kids do; to wake up every day excited to learn.

I want to live, love, and learn like children do.

Simple. Fun. Wondrous.  

I'm nervous about next week, but I'm also excited. I've learned a lot this past week and I'm ready to get it out there and share it with my kids. 

I hope you're ready, too. 

Here We Go Again

It's that time of year again! The beginning of August, the cooler weather (anywhere other than Florida), and school supplies have taken over every possible store you walk into.

Every.

Single.

One.

Okay, not all of them but I'd still like to walk into Publix without being drawn to stacks upon stacks of Crayola.

Me talking to summer, that which I love.

I spent four days last week in a pretty intense classroom management/strategies training with about nine other colleagues and I found myself already invigorated for the new year. Of course, now training is over but I've received my back to school letter and I feel like I've done a complete one-eighty in the past three days. 

Saying goodbye to summer is so hard! (I say this from a single, childless person's point of view, okay?) 

Since the time is upon us and there's no turning back I took to Facebook to ask my teacher friends: 

What is your favorite thing about the beginning of a new year? 

Here are a few responses with possible explanations in no particular order except when they were posted. 

1.) New School Supplies: This is totally nerdy, but I love school supplies. Sure I cringe in July when they're taunting me at the grocery store, but I love them and so do my friends. There's just something about the smell of fresh Crayola that brings hope and promise into your life. Don't believe me? SMELL THE CRAYONS. New notebooks, new pens, new lunchbox, new backpack! It's all so magical. 

I also acquired some new notebooks...

2.) Seeing Their Faces for the First Time: There really is something so magical about being a teacher. I've said in other posts that we are privileged to be able to make an impact in the lives of students, but I've also talked about how they change us. (You can read by post about my sweet friend Sebastian here.) So many emotions go through you and the students on the first day of school. They look so cute in their new uniforms with all their new supplies! They're excited to meet new friends, to play with old ones, and hopefully to learn new things, too. It's also nice to see some of them on their best behavior for the first few days of school. (Also: FEAR.)

3.) Decorating Your Classroom: Right now this is what I'm dreading, but I know that I'm going to be on fire come Wednesday morning when I get into my classroom. I love learning new things about classroom layout and being able to apply those in real time. I'm definitely excited to take what I learned in my training and get it done. 

4.) Sense of Purpose: Do we lose that over the summer? Some of us might. I try to keep busy so I don't, but that isn't always the case. When we're working we know what's expected and we know what we want. Summer is lazy time. (I started a book blog to help me stay busy: Ash Reads Stuff.) I think keeping a routine goes with this one, also. I love being lazy and slothlike but routines are nice, too. 

5.) Open House: Open house is a great place to get to know your students and their families, and for them to get to know you. And, sadly, it might be the only time you see their family. 

6.) Putting New Methods Into Place: Summer is a great time for Professional Development, if you're into that sort of thing. I love (haha, kind of) reflecting on the year before and knowing what works well and what I need to change. Back to school is always eye opening in a lot of ways. 

Those were the main thoughts that my colleagues and friends had to share. The new school year is a blank slate just waiting for us to dirty it up with all our different successes and failures. Yes, it's sad to say goodbye to summer, but we also get to say hello to new supplies, new students, new friends, and- most importantly- old ones. 

I hope you have a great year! 

Thank You!

So, thanks to TimeHop I was able to find out that my blog is two years old! That's two years of me whining and complaining, and two years of you reading it!

But really, so much has happened in the past two years that I just wanted to stop and say thank you. Whether you are a friend, colleague, family member, or perfect stranger. Thanks for stopping by to read about my journeys into teaching, running, and weird random things. I appreciate all of you.

You're awesome.