Summer Shopping

Happy summer, friends! First of all, thank you for five years of fun! Today marks five years since I started this blog. I had no idea what I was doing (still don't) but I'm so grateful for the journey. I hope the stories have helped or have at least entertained you.

I've been doing a few videos for the Scootadoot blog which is where we blog about health and fitness, so I thought I'd do a vid here too. It's a long one and I'm mostly talking about some things I've bought this summer. I'm looking forward to some changes next year and hope to keep y'all updated as the year begins. See you soon!

Thanks again for five fun years! 

The End of the Road

Oh, we are so close to the end here, y'all. Today I got to celebrate my Super Second Graders with an award ceremony in our classroom. Parents filled the room, snacks filled the table, and, believe or not, I was genuinely happy in my classroom for the first time in a long time. The families smiled and took pictures, parents and students thanked me for a great year. It was a feeling that I hadn't felt in a while.

I know, I know. That sounds terrible, right? Teaching is supposed to be fun and happy and rainbows.

Obviously, if you follow this blog or speak to me on a daily basis or are friends with my on any piece of social media you know that I've been struggling this year. My class is full of big personalities and, honestly, sometimes they aren't good traits. It has been a difficult year. For the most part I'm glad that it's over.

It's hard to be sad when I've struggled so much. I know that I always take something from each year. There's always that little nugget of inspiration that hopefully works for...someone? This year was all about patience for me. It was learning to bite my tongue when I really wanted to scream and yell. (Honestly, sometimes I did scream and yell.)

Even today, when nine students left after our ceremony, I had to get loud. 

There are just some things that teachers can't control and don't understand. I often hear/see teachers higher grade levels say things like "What until he/she gets to __ grade, then they won't act that way". Um, yeah, they probably will? I know for a fact that many of my former students with behavior issues are still struggling in higher grades. To me, that's comforting. It lets me know that it wasn't just me the student didn't mesh with. 

It also makes me sad, because it means that there is something with that child that is missing. Or that someone is missing. Sometimes it isn't something a teacher can do. As hard as I try to instill respect and responsibility in a students, it doesn't always work if there's no other back up. 

This job is not easy. This job is not always fun and rainbows. This job is kids who you can't reach, kids who struggle, and kids who need love. It isn't something that you take lightly and it isn't something that you can just let go. 

We all have our stories. We all have those students that stick with us. We have those classes we love and the ones that we don't love as much. When my father died in 2016 that class was The Class. They were challenging, but they were smart and weird and funny. They kept my mind off my grief and helped me through it. I know they will never know that, even though they knew what was going on in my life. 

I. Love. This. Job. I love the people I've met because of it. The friendships that I've built with colleagues, parents, and kids. This is a good job. 

And I am very ready to have a good summer. 

Before that, though... 

Be there. Be present. Give the hugs. Smile the smile. Yell if you need to. Let them know that you love them, even when they're difficult. 

You never know if you're the person they need in their life. 

Six more days, friends. 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Guys. It's been a week. I mean, I know it's a new week because it's Sunday and all that, but...it's been a week. Maybe it's the fact that we're in the final few weeks of the year, or maybe we were all just grumpy last week, or, yeah I've got nothing else. 

Last week my class and I had multiple heart-to-heart conversations about showing respect for one another and, equally important, themselves. I tried to stress that the more they misbehaved, the more disrespectful they were. When they were talking or flat out not listening to directions it wasn't just hurting me, or those around them, they were hurting themselves too. 

The end of the year is stressful for everyone, and I know that it's the same with the students. (This post alone has made me break from my Weight Watchers plan. I've finished off a pint of Halo Top and now I'm eating Cheez-its.) It's the time of year when we expect more from them because they've been in school for almost 180 days. (Thanks, Irma.) We remind them that they are almost 3rd graders, they are leaders, and they have grown so much this year! 

We also remind them to...

Stay in their seat. 

Raise their hand.

Listen to directions. 

Do their homework. 

Did I mention stay in their seat? 

 Keep their hands to themselves. 

Use their manners.

I could go on and on.

Point is, some days feel like a huge fail. It feels like the whole year has been leading up to this. THIS? Now, don't take this the wrong way. I love my class. I am not a fan of the relationship we have right now. We lack mutual respect and need it now more than ever. I know it isn't there but students say things jokingly but it actually hurts my feelings. How does a 34-year-old get her feelings hurt by a second grader? Let me count the ways... 

Here's the thing. They don't have social cues to not say certain things, and to also not say certain things to adults. At some point we might want to sit back and think "Okay, parents should teach these things". Okay, but  so should we. 

That's what I'm trying to do. Desperately. 

In the meantime I absolutely do not want my students to be scared of me. I don't want them to be fearful that they are going to get into trouble. I want them to feel loved, but also feel disciplined in the way that they can tell the right thing from the wrong thing. 

Does that make sense? 

I want them to be good humans. 

So. 

35 more days to make it happen. 

Any suggestions? 

I'm sure i've used this before. 

Feels Like a Monday

Within the past twenty-four hours I've gotten two text messages with a "Forty days left of school!" kind of feel about them. My internal response was something kind of like this:

Of course, blah blah blah, I love my job and all of that. This year, guys. This year is tough. I was talking with a friend today about how I'd trade last year for this year. Not to beat a dead horse, but with so many changes it's been difficult to stay consistent in so many things. 

This year is definitely making me question my "awesome classroom management skills". This year is tough. 

I've been trying a lot of different things this year and most of it has been working. There are still those days, however. These days, you know what I mean? 

It's not like today was absolutely terrible, but it could have been better. My kids and I are moving into a new routine. I had a full-time intern who recently completed her time with us so I know we're going to have a bit of a transition period. It's been nice having two teachers in the room. Now that I'm on my own again (for the second time this year) I'm pretty tired and extra cranky. *insert laughing/crying emoji*

I know it's my own fault, for the most part. I'm a control freak and there are just some things I absolutely can't control. I can't control a kid's emotions, but I can control how I react to them reacting...if that makes sense? 

Every day is different and every day is a day for reflection...right? 

That's what I keep telling myself. 

And it's only Monday. 

Practice Makes Perfect

Teaching is absolutely not perfect, nor is my classroom. I just needed a catchy title and something that kind of went with my ideas that are about to vomit here.

Any time I blog about something, you should know that it's truly something I try or focus on in my classroom. I try really hard to lead and live by example, but also to share honestly about my teaching experience.

This year has been especially difficult (you can read my whining here) with so many changes, behavior problems, and IRMA. I try to start every new day with a new attitude. It doesn't do me well to think on mistakes we (my students or myself) made the day before. I'm fully aware that they are just tiny humans and I'm the one who needs to lead them.

Note the keyword there is "try". Some days the trying is harder than others. Some days there is no "try". (Nor is there any "do".)

Some days just suck.

But then! Then there are the good days. Okay, so when I say that there are good days it doesn't necessarily mean that everything was sunshine and roses and amazing. The chances that every single one of my students are absolutely perfect are slim to none. Unless they are all absent. Get it? 

Whatever. This week was a week of major triumphs for me with one of my students and I loved sharing it with others. 

At the risk of exposing students I will just tell you that this kid is tough. They are smart, funny, likeable...emotional...angry at times. 

This student is on a behavior chart and we work everydamnday on controlling those BIG emotions that they have. Despite having to call for assistance two days with them, they still met the goal on their chart four out of five days of the week. I say it's a perfect week because on Friday they actually had a perfect day. That means for every subject and every activity they did, there was acknowledgement of this good behavior. 

And, guys, this kid was thrilled. So was I. 

What did I do differently? Well, for four out of the five days I worked on ignoring the poor behavior. I used a calm and quiet teacher voice to speak reason with the student and when that didn't work I left them alone. Eventually they realized the things they were missing and they knew that if they wanted to meet their goal changes needed to be made. They made it happen on their own. 

I will admit to using my loud teacher voice on one of those days, but we all slip up sometimes. 

My point is: don't give up. 

If it's hard, it's because it's worth it. That always sounds to cheesy, but I truly believe. Teaching is hard, y'all. It's hard and it's important. 

Do the good work. 

You got this. 

Be the Change (in the Classroom)

Just last week or so I posted that this will be the "same old blog" and I'm going to stick to that in the best way I can. Some things are changing for ME, so I am making a little change to this old blog.

I've decided to make it more teaching centered, but still incorporate some motivational and touchy-feely posts I've grown to write and love.

Today, specifically, I'd like to talk about change in the classroom.

This is a tough subject for me because I tend to be very Type A. Sometimes I have a "things need to be a certain way and that's it" kind of mentality. Here's the deal with that, though: it doesn't work.  Stop me if I've done a post like this before (ha!) but I feel like I need a little reminder sometimes, too.

This year (if you've read my other posts) has been a challenge already. I say "already" and it's actually January- we're halfway through the year! So many things have happened since August but I'm still struggling with certain behaviors in my class. It's like one day is great and the next day the room is on fire (I'm on fire, everything is on fire).

I get so exhausted teaching this way and I know it's time to make a change. Change is just...hard. It's hard because it feels like what I've been doing for my eleven years of teaching has just worked. Then I start to question if it actually has been working...or if I just thought it was working. So. It's time to make a change. I know this change won't happen overnight. I know that it will take some researching and possibly some Pinteresting and even some (gasp) talking to others about what might work in my classroom.

I know that the change has to start with me. I'm the adult in the room. I set the mood. I need to be more present and more prepared. Personal feelings need to be set aside in order for change to take place. I can't hold against a kid something they did the day before (and I wouldn't, just saying) when I know that they are just kids. I need to be the model for them to follow.

So.

Point is, I'm ready for the change. This class that I have is interesting and they challenge me in all kinds of ways. For the most part they are an amazing and interesting group of kids. They truly are. We have fun and we learn and love...but we definitely have bad days. I guess I'm ready to take these challenges to the next level and turn them into triumphs.

Wow, that got real cheesy.

I guess you could call this a resolution for the new year. Y'all keep me accountable for this. (Don't let me yell at my class.)

Happy teaching.

New Year, Same Blog

Here we are. 2018. I'm feeling much more like a human today (seriously, why do you people invite me places?) and figured I'd take a moment to sum up last year. 

 2017 was a whirlwind of triumphs and tragedies. It was a year of moving on and moving forward. Building friendships and reuniting with old friends. It was rough, but it was fun. 

Just as we made it to the year anniversary of losing my stepfather, I had to say goodbye to my beloved Papa. It hurt, losing two men whom I loved dearly within such a close period of time. My family is strong. Resilient. Though we continue to struggle with our grief, I know that our bonds are stronger for it. Sometimes we scatter, but we always find our way back to each other. This year has definitely been hard on us...but I know we'll be okay. 

This year was definitely a time for me to step out of my comfort zone a little bit. In June I traveled to Amish Country (alone, omg) to do a 200-ish mile relay race with ten people I'd never met and one dear online friend. We slept in a van, ran the miles, at the food, and had a lot of fun. Running a Ragnar race wasn't something I even thought I wanted to do, but now I'm ready for another one. 

July led me to Nicaragua with my church to visit a village that we sponsor. It was a week of meeting people, introducing ourselves, listening to their stories, and praying with them. The best part of this trip was the people who helped me get there by their donations and prayers. I was overwhelmed with support from not only my church family, but also people that I work with. 

I'd have to say that the biggest thing I faced this year was buying a house. It was probably the most stressful thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding. My sister and I have had a great time making our little house a home (even welcoming a crazy new kitten to the mix). This was definitely a triumph of 2017. 

This school year (if you follow this blog at all) has been a challenge each and every day. So many changes happened early on in the year, not to mention the Cat 5 hurricane that put us out of commission for over two weeks. We are slowly but surely getting our groove back in Room 210. I love my job and I know it's a tough one. But, like I always say, it's a good one. 

When I started this blog almost five years ago I didn't really have a purpose or direction with it. Honestly, I still don't. A lot of the times I feel like what I'm writing doesn't make sense to anyone but me. I know that we are all struggling with things: personal, spiritual, physical, work related...I just try my best to share experiences with others and hope that they help someone in the process. There's a lot I don't put out there, and that's okay. (Some people think I put too much out there. Oh, well.) 

I'm looking forward to 2018 and the experiences it holds. I know that there will be ups and downs. There will moments of sadness and hopefully many, many triumphs. I'm also looking forward to sharing those experiences with you, so be prepared. 

This year I'm going focus on my health in many ways: physical, mental, spiritual. There will definitely be struggles. That's just life. I'm here for it, though. 

Happy New Year, friends. Let do this...

...after I finish watching all ten seasons of Smallville.