New Year, Same Blog

Here we are. 2018. I'm feeling much more like a human today (seriously, why do you people invite me places?) and figured I'd take a moment to sum up last year. 

 2017 was a whirlwind of triumphs and tragedies. It was a year of moving on and moving forward. Building friendships and reuniting with old friends. It was rough, but it was fun. 

Just as we made it to the year anniversary of losing my stepfather, I had to say goodbye to my beloved Papa. It hurt, losing two men whom I loved dearly within such a close period of time. My family is strong. Resilient. Though we continue to struggle with our grief, I know that our bonds are stronger for it. Sometimes we scatter, but we always find our way back to each other. This year has definitely been hard on us...but I know we'll be okay. 

This year was definitely a time for me to step out of my comfort zone a little bit. In June I traveled to Amish Country (alone, omg) to do a 200-ish mile relay race with ten people I'd never met and one dear online friend. We slept in a van, ran the miles, at the food, and had a lot of fun. Running a Ragnar race wasn't something I even thought I wanted to do, but now I'm ready for another one. 

July led me to Nicaragua with my church to visit a village that we sponsor. It was a week of meeting people, introducing ourselves, listening to their stories, and praying with them. The best part of this trip was the people who helped me get there by their donations and prayers. I was overwhelmed with support from not only my church family, but also people that I work with. 

I'd have to say that the biggest thing I faced this year was buying a house. It was probably the most stressful thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding. My sister and I have had a great time making our little house a home (even welcoming a crazy new kitten to the mix). This was definitely a triumph of 2017. 

This school year (if you follow this blog at all) has been a challenge each and every day. So many changes happened early on in the year, not to mention the Cat 5 hurricane that put us out of commission for over two weeks. We are slowly but surely getting our groove back in Room 210. I love my job and I know it's a tough one. But, like I always say, it's a good one. 

When I started this blog almost five years ago I didn't really have a purpose or direction with it. Honestly, I still don't. A lot of the times I feel like what I'm writing doesn't make sense to anyone but me. I know that we are all struggling with things: personal, spiritual, physical, work related...I just try my best to share experiences with others and hope that they help someone in the process. There's a lot I don't put out there, and that's okay. (Some people think I put too much out there. Oh, well.) 

I'm looking forward to 2018 and the experiences it holds. I know that there will be ups and downs. There will moments of sadness and hopefully many, many triumphs. I'm also looking forward to sharing those experiences with you, so be prepared. 

This year I'm going focus on my health in many ways: physical, mental, spiritual. There will definitely be struggles. That's just life. I'm here for it, though. 

Happy New Year, friends. Let do this...

...after I finish watching all ten seasons of Smallville. 

First Born Problems

When my sister was younger she just wanted to know everything. It was totally endearing, until she couldn’t let something go and bugged us for years with the same question even though no one could give her the “right” answer.

We didn’t have a conventional family, and that was okay with everyone. Sarah, my sister, knew early on that we had different dads. (That makes us half-sisters, but we don’t think of ourselves that way. We aren’t half-people, after all.) When she first learned to talk she called her dad “Tim” a few times, and it was pretty funny.

But the thing that she wanted to know the most about our family, what she really, really needed an answer to was:

Why was Ashley born first?

For a while this was the only question she would ask, and she would get so pissed when my mom didn’t give her the answer she wanted to hear. To me, it was hilarious (and frustrating because, seriously, get over it), but to her it really mattered.

So, kid, here are some reasons why I (and all other older siblings) was born first:

To soften up the folks. Look, you’re going to do a lot of stupid stuff. We, as older siblings, are here to make life a little bit easier on you. Trust me, when I would come home at 3AM it was like WWIII. Now, the ‘rents are over it. You swear in front of them? Nothing. Me? Soap in the mouth. Get a bad grade? You get a “keep trying”. Me? Look, life was hard once I got kicked out of Honor Society. Let’s not talk about the time I had to go to court, okay? Point is: I’ve done it, they’ve dealt with it. You’re in the clear.

Weird.

Torture you, obviously. There are ten years and nine months between my sister and me. That’s a lot of years, so I was basically a built-in babysitter. It was cool, though. I liked spending time with the little ankle-biter. Also, I liked to jump out from behind things and scare her.  It was a game I played. Mostly with myself, though. Of course, when she was crying that just meant I got to comfort her and make her feel better…then do it again. That’s what older siblings are for: to make you fear for your life and then make sure you are safe. Basically, I’d die for you, but in the meantime I’m going to make your life a living hell, okay?

I used to be taller than her!

You’re our slave. As I’m writing this right now my sister is washing my dishes. Enough said, right? But really, as older siblings we really need someone to wait on us. When she’s done, I hope she makes me some coffee.

To be best friends, duh. Being so many years apart was fun for the most part, but eventually our relationship changed. I moved out and moved away, but now that we’re both adults (kind of), it’s pretty cool. Siblings (and cousins) are like our first best friends, a built-in person to share your secrets, sadness, accomplishments, and stories with.

Besties 4Life.

L-O-V-E. Sibling love is special. Like, who else is going to put up with your shit and still like you all the time? We are weird and messed up and sometimes normal, but no one understands you like a brother or sister. (Sorry if you’re an only child. You can borrow my sister anytime.) No one knows what you’ve been through like them.

The family that serves together... 

I was born first, and so were millions of other siblings. We did it for you, you young whippersnappers, get over it.

Of course.