Everything is Fine

I sometimes like to post a touchy-feely-back-to-school post just to kind of talk about the feel of a brand new year and how excited I am for new faces and supplies. This might be that kind of post...but it might not be. 

I'm exhausted in a more than just a "first week of school" way. Teachers at my school started back about two weeks ago for training, prepping, and planning. We've been social distancing, wearing masks, sanitizing and cleaning compulsively. Okay, maybe not all of us have been compulsive, but I have. 

The time between spring break and the end of the year was hectic. It was "crisis teaching" and trying our best to check in with students and families. We made it work, for what it's worth, but it was a band-aid. It was hard not being with my class, not being able to do our end of the year projects, and celebrate them with awards face-to-face. Once my classroom was all packed up I did manage a drive-by gift drop off to most of my students. 

We knew this year was going to be different. My school is offering three different models this year and teachers are planning and teaching for all three. There wasn't a lot of time to plan and not all the resources we need are ready...but we made it work? My class, like everyone else's, is set up for social distancing: students' belongings can't touch, contact less morning greetings, students on Zoom...the list goes 

Honestly, I am always encouraged and inspired by some of my coworkers. This week has not been easy. There have been obstacles, but we are making it work...I think? 

For the most part, my class has been great. I know that it's not going to be perfect right away. It's been six months since any of us were in any type of structured setting. Not only that, this "structured setting" that we're now in is completely different than anything we've known. I say "we" because I have also not been doing anything structured for a long time. 

Teaching online while also trying to keep the kids in the class occupied has been a bit of a challenge. They all want to share their thoughts and stories. They want to "help" and "give suggestions" as well...you can imagine how that goes. 

We're also wearing masks all day, with the exception of lunch and recess. I'm lucky that my traditional class is small enough that we can stretch out and take masks breaks. I'm also lucky that the kids are bright enough to remember that "six squares" means six feet apart and they are responsible enough to keep their masks on until everyone is ready 

Everything is different and it's been hard. The planning isn't fun, sometimes it's hard to hear them for answers, it makes me sad that we can't do things like we used to.  

But! We're going to make it work. I try my best to stay positive, make jokes, and make things fun. If I get frustrated, I definitely try not to let them see. I don't know what's going to happen, truly. I hope we can all stay safe and healthy. I hope we get to stay in school and see more students return. I hope that everything goes back to normal. 

I also hope that my kids are happy, feel welcome and loved, and maybe even learn a little bit. I'm praying that my colleagues find peace, that they are less stressed, and that they are able to be the best they can for their students. 

These past few weeks have been hard for a lot of reasons. Some of those reasons are other people and their opinion of teachers. Their "Get back in the classroom or don't get paid" attitudes and the "You knew what you signed up for" comments on articles and posts are hurtful and ignorant. This really isn't what teachers signed up for. We're scared for ourselves, friends, families, and students. We don't really feel ready in any aspect, but...we're showing up. We're showing up because we have bills to pay and mouths to feed and a passion to teach.   

I'm going to keep showing up, and I hope you do too. 

(Unless we get the corona. Then we should stay home.)

The Best Laid Plans

Guys. This is insane. This is unprecedented. This is so weird.

It's spring break, so I'm currently lounging about in workout pants and a t-shirt in the guise that I'm halfway ready to workout later today. Why later today? Because I've lost all sense of a schedule and I have no idea what's going on...already.

That's usually okay for vacation. Except for the fact that vacation has been extended and I'm trying to keep a schedule that will HOPEFULLY keep me sane in the upcoming weeks. Aaaaand that obviously hasn't happened yet.

Today I got up and had my coffee. I finished a book. I got dressed and drove to school for my allotted fifteen minutes to grab anything I think might be of importance to my new job as a remote teacher.

Which was basically a bunch of junk and maybe some read aloud books.

Oh, and my computer.

This. Is. Weird.

For some of us this situation might be giving us Hurricane Irma flashbacks. Only this time we have electricity and Netflix. 

This is not going to be easy. My team and I did a chat earlier today to talk about what needs to be done and how we can all stay on the same page. We are all worried about if our kids are going to actually do the work we assign. How much work is too much? Is it too little? How can we help parents? How can we help each other?

Our school administration has done a great job keeping us all informed and guiding us with schedules and expectations. On paper it looks amazing, but once we get out there and do it? I worry about how effective I am IN the classroom and I know most of my peers do, too. I can only imagine how some of them are feeling right now.

Like I said: it won't be easy. But! There are teachers across the entire world doing this! There are so many resources online for parents and teachers to use and to guide us. I'm hoping that we, as teachers, will be able to bring some joy and normalcy to our kids while we aren't able to physically be with them. Our second graders are going to have to miss two huge events for them and it truly breaks my heart to think that they are going to miss out on such fun things that they've worked so hard for.

One of the best part of my days is the morning hellos and afternoon goodbyes I get from my kiddos. They can be a loud, opinionated, bright bunch...but they're mine and I'm going to miss them like crazy.

Hopefully they won't mind seeing my mug on a screen instead of in real life.

I know that while I'm not with them, I'll be thinking about them. I'll be praying for them. (And their new teacher-parents!) And I'll be waiting until I get to see them again.

Hopefully you all have someone to reach out to and lean on during this time. Find your people. Love them hard. Ask them questions. Support them.

I'm here, too.

We got this.

I'm Tired Already

It's Sunday and I'm on my second cup of coffee, sitting here in my church clothes because I didn't realize what time it was and got dressed early. I usually wait until the very last minute on Sunday because I like to milk it for all it's worth. 

Not today, I guess! 

This Sunday officially marks ONE WEEK until we really go back to school. 

Who's excited?

Now, I worked in my classroom two days last week and, thanks to my lovely principal, was able to go in for a little while before I left to traipse around NYC. I got my furniture moved on the first day and these other days have been about unpacking, organizing, reorganizing, throwing away, buying new stuff...you get the picture. 

As stressful as it can be, I absolutely love the "going back to work" process. I love my clean and shiny floor that I'm totally going to mess up when I shove my giant desk all the way across the room. I love new supplies and shopping for new supplies. I love getting rid of things I know I'm not going to use but also stashing things I know I'll never use but I keep "just in case". 

The whole act of setting up my classroom for my new littles is so much fun. There's a bit of a thrill that comes with them seeing the room for the first time and realizing that it's "their space". (I'm a little obsessed with my classroom, if you can't tell.) 

I know it's not all about the decor or what's hanging on the wall, though. I try to make my room fun and inviting, but also functional. As a self-diagnosed person with OCD I live for organization. One of my favorite things is to find a nice flow for my room, as well as think of all the things that can happen in each little nook and cranny. I plan centers, group activities, all kinds of things...in my head. 

Hence the title of this post. 

Y'all, this is exhausting! 

It's all-consuming and SO MUCH FUN. Last night, while hanging out with friends at an end-of-summer get together, I heard myself say "I'd rather be at home laminating". 

I've gotten a jumpstart on all of this fun stuff and I can't wait to share it with my new students. This will be my second year teaching Gifted/Cambridge students and I'm looking forward to growing more in my teaching style and seeing what I can learn from them. 

This year is Lucky 13 for and it can only get better...right? 

Good luck to all of you heading back soon. You've got the future in your hands. No pressure. 

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What Counts

I'm sitting here on a Wednesday night, after our very last faculty meeting of the year. After proctoring 3rd grade FSA testing this morning. After receiving my END OF YEAR CHECKLIST and HOLY SHIT, there are only fourteen days left of school?!

I know everyone is really excited and happy because YAY SUMMER but, y'all...I'm sad.

Now, if you've followed this blog you know that my twelve years of teaching have not always been easy. Most of the time I get the babies who need a little tough love and I give it to them. I sometimes whine and complain about it, but every year I know I'm changed because of the kids in my class. I know that they are put with me for a reason. Sometimes that reason is for me to grow as a teacher even though it also feels like I'm being tested.

Either way, we're supposed to learn and grow as teachers. If we don't, then why are we doing what we're doing? There's no point in doing the same thing we've always done when we get new students every year. When those students are different every year.  And, not only that, they are different from each other. (Trust me, I have identical twins and, wow, are they different.)

This year, despite its challenges, because there are always challenges, has been my best year. I took on some extra things outside of the classroom, but inside the class has been...really good? Not perfect, but really, really good.

Guys. I'm really sad this year is over. Look, I know my class is basically hand-picked from the best of the best but that doesn't mean that the kids are perfect. We've definitely had ups and downs and have had some "come to Jesus" moments, but for the most part I can't complain about these kids. They are smart, funny, , quick, weird...I can keep listing adjectives, but you get the idea.

I'm sitting here getting ready to start my end-of-year awards and picture presentation and I just keep thinking about how much I'm going to miss these kids! I don't get emotional, y'all know this, right? If I cry it's at books or Publix commercials in the privacy of my own home. I'm the one who makes fun of the people crying! (I'm getting a little choked up right now.)

I've learned a lot this year, like every year. Teaching advanced students is, in a sense, the same as teaching average or below average students. They still need to be enriched, challenged, and taught. I've enjoyed learning how to teach them this year and getting to know them and their special little personalities. Even their inability to go one day without talking about farting.

Fourteen days left? I hope they're good to you. I hope this year has been good to you, and that you've been good to your kiddos. That's what matters, right?

Make your last days count. I'm going to try.

What Good Teachers Do

I debated writing this post for a few reasons that may only make sense to me.

A. I don't want you to think I know what good teachers do because I think I'm a good teacher. (Also, I don't want you thinking I'm fishing for compliments. I am not.)

B. I don't want you to think I'm talking about you?

Okay, so. What do good teachers do? I'm sure if you ask any teacher they are going to give you a lot of different answers, because I don't think there is just one thing that good teachers do. Do good teacher follow the curriculum or do they follow their heart? Why can't they do both? Is there a book a about good teaching? Sure! Are there a lot of books about good teaching? Probably.

Have I read any of them? No.

I know. I love to read, but I'm just not good at reading self-help and informational text.

I think that good teachers care, and not because they feel like they have to. We all have those students that push our buttons and get on our nerves and basically drive us up the wall. Those are the ones we should care about most because those are the ones who need it the most. Does it always work like that? Absolutely not. Sometimes, even as adults, it's hard to muster the strength to care about someone when it seems like their sole purpose is to make you miserable. Should we always try? Yeah, I guess.

Investing in your kids. This may kind of seem like showing kids you care, but maybe it isn't. Maybe I'm really tired and shouldn't be blogging right now. By investing I mean more than hugging and talking to. Engage in an actual conversation. Show up at one of their extra event. Have lunch with them (UGH, lunch bunch). Work with them, encourage them, tell them you're proud of their accomplishments. There are so many ways we can invest in our kids and some of us are just not doing it. These kids, the little ones in our care right now? They are the future. This is it. It is literally right in front of us. Don't we want to make it better than it is right now?

Show up. Show up for work. Show up for life. Bring your best self. No matter what you're going through out in the real world. Trust me, I KNOW that shit gets hard. You don't have to tell me that there are things that you just can't control. But sometimes we just need to pick ourselves up and show up.

These past few days I've been out of my classroom to facilitate academic progress meetings. I've been sitting with other teachers and talking about other students and, damn, I miss my kids. This is probably the first year where I say things like that. I'm more frustrated by not being with my kids than I am about writing sub plans.

I miss showing up for them, you know? I've been greeting them before my meetings and checking in at lunch and recess, but it isn't the same. This year's group of kids is so funny and real and I've really been missing that time with them.

Well, I've kind of enjoyed bothered the front office people and yelling at people to "get out of my office", too, but it isn't the same as watching a little one learn, explore, and just enjoy life. (I hope they are enjoying life?)

Teachers. We only have a day and a half before spring break. After that, the end is nigh.

Show up for your kids. Love them. Invest in them. Yell at them if you need to, but make sure they know why.

Be good, okay?

Also, you got this.

Teacher Resolutions

I'm really not one to make New Year's Resolution as, from what I can tell from years past, the minute I promise to do something I...just don't do it.

Eat healthy? Where are the KitKats?

Work out more? Oh, look. A new book.

Meditate? Don't you mean sleep in?

Okay, so I probably could find the willpower to do those things, but it's more fun if I don't. You feel me?

As I'm lounging around today (eating KitKats and reading a book in basically pajamas) I also keep thinking about things I want to do in the new year as a teacher. I can't believe it's almost been one hundred days of school and I've only posted one thing about the year, and it wasn't even that good of a post, let's be honest.

So here are some things I want to work on, I guess.

Have more fun. 
That will probably sound like "do less teaching" to some, but that's not what I mean. I love my kids. They are amazing and fun and so funny. I want them to have fun and learn at the same time. My OCD tendencies are sometimes so strong that it doesn't always get to happen. I've learned to let go of some control over the years, but it's still hard sometimes.

Practice peace. 
If we're friends on Facebook or Twitter you may have seen my post about how one of my cuties told me I needed to go to yoga to "find my peace". Like I've said, my class is pretty well-behaved and this particular comment was made on a day before Thanksgiving break when I was seriously about to lose my shit. I do not like losing my shit. It is not peaceful. I want to work on that. I want to, as we try to teach our little leaders, seek first to understand (Habit #5).

Be present.
Sometimes it's so easy to give my kids an assignment and then disengage to do something around the class that I need/want to take care of instead of working with them and helping them work through and with ideas. I'm not ashamed to say that. I'm not a "teach from my desk" kind of teacher, but I can do better. I want to do better.

Love big.
This group of kids is one of the most lovable groups I've had in a while. Maybe it's because they feel a kindred spirit in me (we're all so weird) or maybe it's something bigger. Either way, I want them to leave this year feeling loved. Honestly, it's my top teacher dream.

Encourage loudly and often. 
That makes sense in my head, okay? People seem to think that just because you teach the higher students that they don't need to be encouraged or made to feel important. It is so important to me that I help celebrate every success my students make, whether it's big or small.

So. That's it? As I'm moving into the second half of my twelfth year teaching, I'm feeling such a peace. (It's starting already!) I'm loving all the interactions with my students (and even their parents!) and seeing all that they can do and all they will accomplish.

I hope that your year stays great if it's already going that way. I hope it gets better if you're struggling. I'm here if you need help.

Happy New Year, from my classroom to yours.

XOXO,
Ash

A Whole New Year

I realize that the title of this is a little...late? I mean, it's November and I'm just now sitting down to write a "welcome back" post?

Sometimes I feel like I don't have the words or that anything I have to say isn't good enough. Most posts I try to be as real as possible with my teacher struggles throughout the school year. So far this year...we're doing okay.

The fact that this is the first post of the school year should've probably tipped you off.

This August I started my twelfth year teaching. It's also my twelfth year at my school and my eighth teaching second grade. I made some expected and unexpected changes this summer. This year I stepped away from being team lead to help assist with curriculum and I also took on a new and exciting challenge in the classroom. My class this year is made up of Cambridge/Talented and Gifted students. The Cambridge program at my school is made up of high achievers and students who excel in leadership and behavior.

Basically, I'm teaching the smart, good kids.

Y'all.

It's amazing.

I know that probably sounds terrible. Like I don't care about the kids who struggle and I just like "LOL MY KIDS ARE GREAT" all the time. Okay, sometimes that is EXACTLY the case.

This year, even with all the extra things I've picked up at school, my class has been a huge blessing.  Honestly, though, taking this class on was a struggle for me. When my principal asked me to make the switch over the summer I immediately went to my favorite school support group. At the risk of sounding arrogant: I'm a good teacher. Can I get better? Always. Do my kids make growth because I invest my time in them? Absolutely. I was nervous about not being able to help the struggling learners. That might sound silly, but I love seeing those kids make growth. I love when they get it. 

I was nervous that I was going to get the kids who already get it and that I wouldn't know what to do with them. My best friend said "They are all weird like you, it's going to be great!" And, yeah, she was right. The rest of my people said all the right things and promised to help me along the way, so here I am. 

So far, this year has truly been amazing. I'm getting to work with kids who understand content and humor more than I'd ever known kids to do. They are sensitive and kind, but they are also still kids. Not everything is perfect every single day. We still struggle, but I feel like I'm getting to do so much more with this class. I've been able to introduce flexible seating, to provide more technology and centers, and we get to do more projects. 

Now, this doesn't mean that only high achievers should get to do these things. I realize as I typed all of those things that it seemed like only my "good" class can do those things. 

One of another major change this year is, again and always, me. I'm changed every year by the students in my class, and I'm always trying to learn from my mistakes. This year is about letting go a little bit more. I don't need to control every little thing in my classroom and I think having that mindset truly makes the difference. 

I still have very strict rules and procedures, but that helps my classroom run smoothly. My school still teaches leadership and the majority of my class excels in it. Like I said, though, they are still kids. Even though they are high achievers, they still need me, and that's nice. We've definitely had a couple of rough patches, but those are getting ironed out. Our moods are constantly changing and we are always learning new things about each other. 

I'm having a great time learning these kids and I hope that they feel the same about me. I also hope that you're taking the time to get to know your little (or big) ones. I hope you're invested and not distracted. I hope that you're giving it (and them) your all. 

We've got an important job. Do it well. 

Hey, follow me and my class on Twitter: @SuperMissVeale