I know, I know. That sounds terrible, right? Teaching is supposed to be fun and happy and rainbows.
Obviously, if you follow this blog or speak to me on a daily basis or are friends with my on any piece of social media you know that I've been struggling this year. My class is full of big personalities and, honestly, sometimes they aren't good traits. It has been a difficult year. For the most part I'm glad that it's over.
It's hard to be sad when I've struggled so much. I know that I always take something from each year. There's always that little nugget of inspiration that hopefully works for...someone? This year was all about patience for me. It was learning to bite my tongue when I really wanted to scream and yell. (Honestly, sometimes I did scream and yell.)
Even today, when nine students left after our ceremony, I had to get loud.
There are just some things that teachers can't control and don't understand. I often hear/see teachers higher grade levels say things like "What until he/she gets to __ grade, then they won't act that way". Um, yeah, they probably will? I know for a fact that many of my former students with behavior issues are still struggling in higher grades. To me, that's comforting. It lets me know that it wasn't just me the student didn't mesh with.
It also makes me sad, because it means that there is something with that child that is missing. Or that someone is missing. Sometimes it isn't something a teacher can do. As hard as I try to instill respect and responsibility in a students, it doesn't always work if there's no other back up.
This job is not easy. This job is not always fun and rainbows. This job is kids who you can't reach, kids who struggle, and kids who need love. It isn't something that you take lightly and it isn't something that you can just let go.
We all have our stories. We all have those students that stick with us. We have those classes we love and the ones that we don't love as much. When my father died in 2016 that class was The Class. They were challenging, but they were smart and weird and funny. They kept my mind off my grief and helped me through it. I know they will never know that, even though they knew what was going on in my life.
I. Love. This. Job. I love the people I've met because of it. The friendships that I've built with colleagues, parents, and kids. This is a good job.
And I am very ready to have a good summer.
Before that, though...
Be there. Be present. Give the hugs. Smile the smile. Yell if you need to. Let them know that you love them, even when they're difficult.
You never know if you're the person they need in their life.
Six more days, friends.
