Take a Day

I don't like not going to work. Like, some people enjoy a day off. They relax, read, shop...whatever. I don't. I worry.

Why?

Because I love my job. I love my kids. I feel guilty when I leave them.

Except for yesterday, that is.

I guess it comes to a point where you literally have to take a day off. You have to get your mindset right because everything feels wrong and everything is off and OH MY GOSH, WILL YOU JUST STOP TALKING is constantly happening in your head.

Yeah, that was me on Thursday. I worried for the majority of the day about whether or not I would have everything ready. Would my sub know what to do if I just wrote this, would the kids remember to do xyz...stuff like that.

Then it was time to go home and I just decided that it would be okay.

It's okay to take a day off because we teachers, me included, are humans.

Can you believe it?

I know some of you reading this won't think it really matters if I take a day off from work or not. You might not get the stress that we teachers deal with on a daily basis. Maybe you think that we just hang out and have fun all day and, sure, sometimes that's the case. Often times, it isn't though.

Teaching, in itself is not hard. It isn't difficult to plan, talk, and grade. It's not hard to pass out papers, put on band-aids, or reprimand.

What's hard is trying to do right by the kids that people have entrusted with you. It's hard to get to know them and to understand why they do certain things. Knowing how to teach them is hard. Understanding their actions is harder.

Forgiving them? Loving them? Man, that's easy.

I don't have kids of my own. I have twenty-three other people's children in my care. I see my friends and I hear them talk about their kids and their struggles and I think "Wow, that's hard". But, truth is, teachers have those struggles too. We struggle with when to discipline and when to let is slide. When to coddle and when to let them be independent.

It's a hard job, but it can be so rewarding.

So, I took a day. I could feel the stress of the past couple weeks of testing, mixed up schedules, license renewing, and just life settling on my shoulders.

It was a nice day. A greatly needed day. I've come to realize more and more this year that I need to do that. I need to take care of myself if I want to be the best teacher I can be. If I'm constantly focused on them, on the job, on anything else...then I'm not focused on me. That sounds selfish, but at the same time I know I'm not my best person when I'm stressed out over things or frustrated about, oh, everything. Thankfully, I have the best team ever who take care of my kiddos when I'm gone and tell me not to worry even though they know I will. (Love you guys. :P)

But, all that stress aside, I got to spend some time with one of my favorite people Thursday and then Friday my sister and I went to Disney World.

Honestly, who did you think I meant? GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
This also accurately describes life. 

It was nice and stress free. Well, if you don't count the stress I have over superhero movies, traffic, and the multitudes of people at Disney.

I could be overheard saying, more than once, "At least I'm not at work" and my sister would just shake her head. 

I missed my kids, but I'm glad I took a day. Hopefully I'll get back on Monday feeling refreshed and we'll be ready to take on the week together.  (Also, I have, like, 80 PTO hours, sooo...)

Also also, I woke up this morning with a lovely cold so I'm glad I had a day of fun before I started feeling like death. 

Find Your People

Most of my posts start with an idea and then end up being a few months in the making. Maybe I've developed ADD in my old age, or maybe I'm just really forgetful. Honestly, I feel like this post has been my entire life in the making. That's probably a little dramatic. Let me start over.

Life is hard. 

Last year I wrote this post about not doing life alone. It's important to have people in your life to keep you accountable, to keep you in check, and to motivate you. I feel like I'm at a good place in my life right now. Things have definitely been different and tough these past couple months and my family and I are learning how to deal with a lot of things.  I've had my people, though, and they help a lot.

So, maybe this is a thank you. Or maybe it's just a random rambling of thoughts. I don't really know. 

All I know it that it's good to have people who let you be yourself and encourage you to be the best you there is.

It's been a kind of weird road for me to get to a point where I'm comfortable being myself around people. I'm weird and I know it. I've always been this way. I love to make people laugh and I say a lot of stupid things. Most people just roll with it and that's what I love. Emotions (mostly crying) sometimes make me uncomfortable but I think my friends know that if they come to I'll listen and try to make them feel better by saying weird things.

I am Chandler. Chandler is me. 

The fact that people still want to be friends with me after I say stupid shit to them says a lot about them, really. But that's what makes it so good. There are those who let me ramble on but who, in turn, listen and give advice when I need it. Even when it's hard to ask for advice or to admit when I'm wrong about something. (Hey, it happens.)

I am un-ironically #blessed with quite possibly the best friends a person could ever ask for. They are new and old, young and old, near and far. They are my people and I am eternally grateful. 

I've got people who listen when I want to talk about anything and everything. People who send me pictures of cats, videos of cats, shirts with cats on them, pictures of their own cats...well, you get the idea. (Random pics of Chris Evans also work, just FYI.) 

I love that these people get me. That I can talk about books, comics, movies, cats, coffee, Captain America, teaching...anything. 

In turn, I hope they know they can come to me too. 

Like I said, I feel like it's important to not go through life alone. You've got to find your people. Find the ones who love you unconditionally, no matter how weird or crazy you are. Find them, and hold on to them. (But, like, in a safe way. Don't hold them hostage. That's bad.)