True Story: Books Ruined My Life

This is the true story of how books ruined my life.

You think I’m joking. Well, I’m not. Books are life-ruiners and it’s about time someone stood up to them. (Or ranted about them a little, whatever.)

I started reading at an early age: letters and sight words and little books. I’m kind of smart that way. Of course, I’m really dumb in other ways, so the reading thing makes up for it, yeah?

My earliest obsession with books started simple enough: Baby-Sitter’s Club Little Sister series and Sweet Valley Twins. Eventually I graduated into the older versions of these series and continued the obsession. Seriously, though. Who didn’t want to be a Wakefield twin growing up? I always favored Elizabeth (Jessica was a flake). And I totally wanted to start my own babysitting club, too. For the record, Mary Anne was my favorite babysitter. She was quiet and nerdy and hey, so was I.  

Don't they just scream "cool"?  

My problem with books started early, obviously. When I was growing up the closest Walmart was an hour or so. I would beg my mom to buy me a book. Not a toy or a new Barbie, a book! So, she’d buy me the book. Then I’d make my parents leave the light in the car on so I could read the book on our way home. I didn’t care if they “couldn’t see” while driving, I needed to read.

I was usually finished with the book by the time we got home. We had that place called a “library”, but renting books really wasn’t my thing. Truth is, it still isn’t. I like to buy and keep. If it’s something I don’t like I usually donate it or take my chances with the used bookstore and earn some credit to buy, you guessed it, more books.

#1 way books ruin my life? They cost money.

#2 way? I don’t have enough money to buy all the books I want.

But I digress. This really isn’t about money or not having enough books. It’s about loving, or loathing, the ones you have.

This weekend I spent a lot of time facedown in the couch because of all my feelings.

#3 way books ruin my life? ALL THE FEELINGS. (Or FEELS.)

Look, if you’re reading this and think I’m weird, that’s okay. Books make me weird. Books make me weird because books make me think and thinking…man, thinking does stuff. The feelings are intense, though. I’ve read so many books in the past few years that sometimes it’s hard to explain what one is about or just exactly why I loved/hated something. There are always that few that stick with you forever, though.

Those are the life-ruiners. I can tell you at exactly which point I lost it Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Only JK Rowling can make you cry with the use of the word “laugh”. Or rather, “last laugh”. (RIP, Fred.) I know the one phrase in The Fault in Our Stars that still gets me teary even though I have yet to bring myself to reread that beautiful piece of words.  

Good books, books that tell about life and relationships and make you a part of that world without even trying…those are the best kind. The ones above are just a couple of the ones that have cut my heart out in the recent past. Also, anything else by John Green can be including. To me he's the #1 Life-Ruiner Ever. I read a lot, okay. Sometimes Kindle .99 cent deals, sometimes the classics. To me, if you think it's good, it's good. If you love the characters and you love the story, that's all there is to it. 

Yep.

Of course, then there’s books like Gone Girl that make you hate every single character and you wouldn’t even care if the earth opened up and they all died. (Secret: Sometimes I feel like this about the Twilight series even though I once loved it so much. Okay, except for Leah. She’s cool.)

But yeah, man. Books. Books are my weakness. When people can put words together to make you fall in love or hate or hope or cry…it’s like magic, you know? It’s magic that people have the guts and the capability to just create people, places, and things and make you love them. That’s how I feel about books. I love them. Okay, I loathe them sometimes, too. Especially when I end up with a tear-stained couch and three days of my life I”ll never get back. 

Also things that are life-ruiners: book to movie adaptions. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED. 

Use Your Words (Wisely)

I really love words. That might not come as a surprise to anyone, but I’ve been thinking about my relationship with words for a few days now. We’re pretty committed to each other, you see. Words and I get along really well. I love to read them, write them, speak them, sing them, and listen to them. Words do their part for me, too. They can heal, encourage, entertain, and comfort.

Words are powerful.

I think sometimes we forget how powerful they are, because sometimes words do other things like: hurt, embarrass, and discourage others.

In my classroom one of our rules is Use kind words. It sounds pretty simple but often times it’s the hardest rule to follow. For example, this week (three days of school, mind you) I heard a lot of:

“He said I was mean!”

“He doesn’t want to be my partner.”

“They aren’t being fair!”

Yeah, that sound you hear is me banging my head against the wall whilst comforting small children. I love my job.

It’s just crazy that we can choose to use words so flippantly and think that they don’t matter. That because they’re just words, they don’t hurt as much. Words are our most powerful weapons if you ask me. I always think about when students might hit or cause physical harm to another because they’ve gotten their feelings hurt or something didn’t go their way. The automatic response is: “Use your words!” But, man…those can hurt, too.

As a teacher one of my biggest challenges is finding the “right” words to discipline, encourage, teach, and all those other things I do that escape me at the moment. And sometimes it’s really, really tough. It’s tough to have to think about things before they come flying out of your mouth. Personally that’s always been a probably for me. When I was younger I’d just spit out useless facts or stupid stories that would only embarrass me because people look at you like you’ve got five heads. I can’t help it, though. I already told you: I love words. 

Okay, scratch that. I love good words. I love words that encourage and tell stories, which share feelings and give hope. Those are the kind of words I love. Those are the kinds of words I’m going to focus on this year. I don’t want to focus on words that hurt or break down friendships, relationships (personal and professional), or other people. I hope you don’t want to either…*hinthint*.

My life group leaders were recently telling our group about a self-help guru on some morning show who had decided to choose a word and live by it for 2014. It’s an interesting idea. Pick a word and focus on it. Put it in every aspect of your life. To me, that’s one way that words can be powerful in a good way.

I chose the word peace. I want peace in every aspect of my life. Peace in all my relationships, in my job, in my classroom, and in my heart.

Peace out,

Ash