Faithful, Faithful, Faithful

I’ve been in a funk lately.

It hasn’t been too horrible, but it’s been rough. Sometimes things get so hectic that I have trouble balancing all of them. I get upset when I figuratively (and literally) drop the ball on things, and then everything else just spirals downward from there.

This past week was especially tough, though I’m still not sure why. It wasn’t different than any other week from the outside. Of course, on the inside I was like a little raging hurricane.

Most days it feels like life is moving too fast: demanding job, family obligations, and personal life (ha!). And, like I said before, I drop the ball sometimes. Things get pushed to the wayside; they get forgotten, swept under the rug, and etc. Personally, I hate when that happens.

See, I don’t like to let people down...even myself.

However, I’ve found that when I worry about life, it only gets worse. The storm doesn’t let up, the waves are pushing you in all different direction, and you just feel like your drowning sometimes.

(My sister informed me that the top part was totally depressing. That’s life, kid.)

Here’s where it gets interesting: the past few weeks at church the sermons have focused on being faithful through the storms of life.

*INSERT FLASHING NEON SIGN HERE*

Yeah, I needed that a few weeks ago. A big sign that says: “ARE YOU LISTENING? THIS IS FOR YOU. (And some other folks, too.)”

Of course, when we’re running a million miles an hour (in the wrong direction), we aren't going to realize that the answer to our prayers is right in front of us, are we?

I know enough to understand that when I ask for something, it doesn’t always come to me the way I expect it to. God is always surprising me in ways that I sometimes can’t explain, but I also know that is part of His wonder. The way he shows up just when I think he’s not even listening.

Sometimes it's a quiet moment in my classroom, or at the grocery store, or even in a song or scripture.

What really stuck out to me today was this, from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount:

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day in its own trouble.” –Matthew 6:34

Basically what Jesus is saying, and which was taught wonderfully in worship today, is why are you worrying about tomorrow? It isn’t even here yet! Worry about today! Think about today and what you have to do with this day that’s been given to you. Tomorrow will be there tomorrow, so worry about it then, right?

I think that’s the hardest thing for people to do sometimes. We give ourselves so much to do that it’s all we can think about and everything else gets forgotten. We are but fragile humans who need certain things to survive and when we’re just goinggoinggoing all the time, we don’t get those things.

We don’t rest or love or laugh. Laughing is my favorite.

If I personally don’t do those things I walk around with my perpetual Nick Miller face and no one wants that, trust me.

Nick Miller, duh.

To me, it’s best if things are kept light. If I think positive about every situation and just know that it’s okay to be okay.

Worship leader Darlene Zscech says: “If your negative emotions get on top of you, pessimism and passivity sets in…often people become cynical when their negative emotions rule them. Eventually they start seeing the bad side in everything.”

So, laugh at your mistakes and take it a little bit at a time. Don’t worry and don’t rush, because it will still be there tomorrow.

But it’s so hard, right?

No.

It’s so easy.

Take a deep breath, say a prayer, and trust in God. When I do that I feel like myself again. Worry doesn't plague me, and even though it might be short-lived, I know that it will be okay in the long run. And that it’s totally worth it.

Runner, Runner

Seventy-five degrees, a nice breeze, blue skies. Here in southwest Florida that’s a perfect beach day, especially after a couple of weeks worth of rain. So, what was I doing at 6:45 this morning instead of prepping for some fun in the sun or a nice relaxing day?

I was slipping into my compression pants and lacing up my asics, because it’s race day, people.

When I first started this blog I talked about how I was training for a 5K and how much I hated running. Like, I hated it. I mean, a lot.

It’s been a long few months since I started the actually training, which really just consisted of running. I didn’t throw in any weights or core training because, let’s be real here, running is enough for me. (Remember that blog about no time? Yeah.)

I used the Couch to 5K app to train because it tells you when to run and how long to run. It’s a great app to help build endurance, which I did. It had been many, many years since I’d even though about running (junior year of high school, to be exact), so this was a big step for me. The app even posts your workouts to Facebook, which is how I got involved in the first place.

I don’t know which one of them started it, but before I knew it Lisa, Michelle, and I were signed up for our first 5K (Run or Dye, November 16^th) and in full training. Thanks to the posts on Facebook we were able to keep up with each other. You know, since it was summer and we’re teachers and yay, no school. That just means we weren’t able to see each other face to face to keep each other accountable.

Virtual training partners. It was awesome.

Me and my buddies Lisa and Michelle after our race. 

Well, we thought it was awesome; other people might have been incredibly annoyed. I don’t really care about them, though. It was like having my own little cheering section each time I put myself out there. I knew that I would post it after the workout and someone would be proud of me, someone would cheer me on, someone would motivate me. I also had my sister as a real-life training partner and someone to yell at me or for me to yell at. Which one of us needed the motivation depended on the day.

Motivation is key here, people.

It was so amazing to have your friends look out for you, even if they weren’t training, too. When school started and people started asking how it was going, I was even more motivated.

The truth is…I like running.

After my horrifying time with cross country, I never thought I’d say that.

Running is awesome. You can let your mind go, and it’s just you, your feet, and the road. If you get a good song (personally I love running to Mumford & Sons) and a good pace, that is the best feeling in the world. When I managed to run thirty minutes for the first time I almost cried. And, while three miles might not seem like that much to someone else, when you’ve worked your butt off for four months, that three miles is your Mt. Everest.

Today, I climbed my Everest. Today, I completed my first 5K.

That's me on top of the bridge. Cool, yeah? 

See, after I started the training a friend of mine noticed and mentioned the Pink Heals (Pinktoberfest) run/walk for cancer. Well, how can you pass that up?

So, my training buddies, virtual and real-life, (and a good friend) signed up.

And we rocked it, y’all.

We had a great time, ran for a good cause, and are already geared up for next time.

Personally, I can’t wait. 

My real-life running buddy and sister.