Ash Does Stuff
Teach. Write. Repeat. Probably not in that order.
Tuesday, May 9, 2023
Everything is (not) Fine
Thursday, February 24, 2022
This Just In: Teaching is Still Hard
This is not a fun, happy post. This will most likely not make you feel good about your job. Unless your job isn't teaching, then you probably feel fine already so what the hell are you even doing here?
I have not posted to this blog since summer of 2021 and even then it was just a fun "these are cool things I like in my classroom". Actually, I haven't posted to my book review blog either, but that's mostly because I am very, very tired and don't get a lot of reading and writing done.
Back to this post.
This job is hard. I've talked about this before. I have posts titled this. But I have not felt so defeated as I've had in the past two years. I have not felt like this job has been too hard until now. (I'm actually tearing up as I write this but it could be the second beer or PMS.)
I remember my first post about teaching was in response to my feelings about a comment on a friend's Facebook post. It was about teaching the day after Halloween and how hard it is.
People don't understand that teaching is not all fun and games and days off. I don't get "paid for the summer", I stretch my salary out for the months I don't work. I don't work 7:30-3:30. I bring work home and tutor in the morning and afternoon to make extra money because teacher pay is absolute shit.
I answer parent emails after hours because I care about my kids but also I have anxiety about leaving things left unsaid, unread, undone. That anxiety has only increased since the beginning of the pandemic and I'm sure it isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
I love my job. I really, truly do. There are so many amazing moments in teaching. I have a fun group of kids who aren't always perfect but we make it work. Sometimes we're all cranky one day and the next day we're fine and dandy.
It is 100% never, ever easy. A lot of people think that my class of high achievers is a walk in the park. It's not. Like I said, we have our days.
Emotions run high in most classrooms. We can all tell as we walk down the hall and I know it's not just my school. It's got to be everywhere, right? After all, we're all in this together.
When you think about it, students in my 2nd grade have never had a "normal" year of school. In kindergarten they were quarantine, or "crisis" learning, in first grade they were hybrid. Some of my students this year never stepped foot in school last year. This year is our "normal" year.
But...do we wear masks? Or do we not? Are we playing catch-up or are we okay? Social emotional learning? Growth? Behavior? Friendships? How can I be kind to others and myself?
Honestly, these things apply to adults as well. I have plenty of friends on social media and in real life who are just now returning to their offices or whose companies have decided to let them work from home. Teachers, like healthcare workers, did not get that option. We've been here since day one. We've adjusted schedules, classrooms, lunches, recess, seating charts, and the list goes on and on... to try and keep everyone safe and healthy.
We've put cleaning supplies on our wish lists. Our hands are dry from hand sanitizer and Lysol wipes. We worry about getting sick and spreading it. Do we take off of work or do we suck it up? Are there subs? (The answer is always no.) We create seating charts for the classroom and lunch.
Teachers are desperately trying to do the best thing for kids. Florida has introduced new standards this year, we've gotten a new curriculum. We are working overtime to get shit done. It's not easy. We're tired.
Does anyone who doesn't work in a school truly know what it's like? I'm getting a little teary again just thinking about it. I have always very strongly felt that teaching is my calling, and I still believe that. I love to learn. I love the spark that kids get when they understand something. I love working with a team of people who believe the same thing I do. I love my school.
Thousands of teachers have left this profession for many reasons and it is only going to get harder. As social media and technology take over it is so easy for things to be said and spread and argued over. It makes it easy to share opinions without thinking who we are hurting or what the outcome is going to be.
Honestly, this is one, if not the biggest problem of teaching. Everyone wants instant gratification and it's just not feasible. We're teachers, not wizards. Sorry.
One of my favorite sayings is "be kind, you never know what someone else is going through". There are so many things we keep bottled up, especially teachers. We do a good job, for the most part, of putting on a smile for our kids. When I'm tired and stressed or flubbing words during a lesson I play it off as a joke, let my kids laugh, and put a smile back on. Not every profession has to do that. Not every job has to pretend that everything is fine all day so kids don't think you're upset with them or just upset in general.
Teaching has never been easy but these past couple of years have been brutal. In the words of Adele, go easy on us. It's not over yet and we're trying to keep it together.
Saturday, July 24, 2021
A Few of My Favorite Things
As they new school year looms in the shadows and people start thinking about what they need to get for their classrooms, I thought I'd put together a list of some of my favorite things I use. (From Amazon for easy access.)
Again, GAME CHANGER! These mini Play-Doh were so much fun for my kids last year. In years past I've had STEM bins for my class to use when they finished morning work. In the year of COVID I had to break down my bins to individual bins and threw in some Play-Doh for fun. The kids loved it and I always did a "Fun Friday" where they could build something and take a picture, then upload it to Seesaw.
Kids love scented stickers. Do yourself a favor and get ya some. (My picture won't upload and I'm tired of trying.)
Hope this gave you a little bit of inspiration and, if you're inspired, check out my list for the new year for all kinds of fun things! (Buy me stuff.)
Sunday, April 18, 2021
In the Trenches
I saved this as a draft in November. There's really no telling what I was planning to write about teaching during a pandemic in November, a mere three or so months into the school year. Here we are edging toward the end of April, over a year since we first learned we weren't going to finish the school year in the building. I remember being heartbroken, no matter how tough of a year I was having. Being in lockdown and working from home was very hard for me. I didn't learn a new skill or really anything about myself. I got depressed a lot and the time alone just let my thoughts run rampant. Eventually things got a little better. Seeing friends and family helped, and so did going to back work...kind of.
I posted in August, as I usually do, talking about how it was going to be different. How we knew it was going to be different.
Damn, is it different.
August found me with 22 eager little faces (that I mostly can't see because of masks). Half of my class was online, pretty evenly split with my traditional learners. The first few weeks were rough with trying to figure out Zoom with the online students, as well as teaching the traditional ones classroom rules and procedures. On top of that I was planning two subjects for my team and finding or creating new online resources to use for kids at home. I would spend literal HOURS planning on Sundays, not leaving my little office except for snacks (lots of them) and to reheat my coffee for the third time.
This is not easy.
I often get the question "Why are you tired?" and I think that has to do with the stigma that teaching is just not that hard. Sometimes teaching is so much fun. We get to have conversations, laugh, have inside jokes. We tell stories, do experiments, play games. Teaching is fun, yes. But that doesn't mean it's easy.
So, I used to play this game when I walked down the hall and, I'll apologize now if this offends anyone. When I would be on break I'd walk through the halls and see how many people were sitting down. Who was sitting at their desk or table while their kids did...whatever. Is this a bit judgmental? Maybe. I never saw myself as a "sitter". I was always running around my class, working on things helping kids, putting out little figurative fires here and there. I was crushing my 10K step goal every day, you know?
This year? Forget about it. I spend most of my time in front of my computer. Sharing my screen, sending assignments, helping remote students, asking traditional students to "please be quiet so I can hear" for the millionth time that hour. I am on camera for the majority of the day, and so are my students. We are ON for the majority of the day. There are very few moments when we aren't on Zoom and it is exhausting. Do I wish all of my students were in class? Absolutely, one hundred percent. But I also understand the risks and the fear that they are experiencing.
We do our best to stay masked and sanitize, but it's not easy or perfect. Kids get sick no matter what because they are dirty little creatures, okay?
This shit is hard. If I come home and lay in bed for an hour, then spend two hours playing Animal Crossing and eat Publix's buffalo chicken dip for dinner for the third night in a row then that's just what I'm doing to stay sane.
We are out here doing our best to give kids a normal learning experience while still trying to live our lives. To clean our houses, stay healthy and sane, maintain healthy relationships, see our family.
This. Is. Hard.
We say things like "kids are resilient" and "they'll be fine" but we don't know how this will change them in the long run. Sure, they have some sort of normalcy being in the classroom with their friends, but do you know how many times I've heard "I just want a real hug" this year? How many times one of my online kids say that they want to see their friends? It's not easy and I "take work home" more than ever this year. I haven't taken any days off except to facilitate meetings, so I've got an excess amount of PTO hours right now. If you think making sub plans is hard when you're teaching normal classes, don't even try to figure it out for virtual kids, too.
Here we are - the moral, right? Am I freaking exhausted from teaching little humans that talk to much and from trying to act like a real human and live my life? Hell yes. Do I see myself doing anything else? Ugh, no.
Just be gentle with us and yourself and your kids. And go get vaccinated or something.
Sunday, August 30, 2020
Everything is Fine
Thursday, March 19, 2020
The Best Laid Plans
That's usually okay for vacation. Except for the fact that vacation has been extended and I'm trying to keep a schedule that will HOPEFULLY keep me sane in the upcoming weeks. Aaaaand that obviously hasn't happened yet.
Today I got up and had my coffee. I finished a book. I got dressed and drove to school for my allotted fifteen minutes to grab anything I think might be of importance to my new job as a remote teacher.
Which was basically a bunch of junk and maybe some read aloud books.
Oh, and my computer.
This. Is. Weird.
For some of us this situation might be giving us Hurricane Irma flashbacks. Only this time we have electricity and Netflix.
This is not going to be easy. My team and I did a chat earlier today to talk about what needs to be done and how we can all stay on the same page. We are all worried about if our kids are going to actually do the work we assign. How much work is too much? Is it too little? How can we help parents? How can we help each other?
Our school administration has done a great job keeping us all informed and guiding us with schedules and expectations. On paper it looks amazing, but once we get out there and do it? I worry about how effective I am IN the classroom and I know most of my peers do, too. I can only imagine how some of them are feeling right now.
Like I said: it won't be easy. But! There are teachers across the entire world doing this! There are so many resources online for parents and teachers to use and to guide us. I'm hoping that we, as teachers, will be able to bring some joy and normalcy to our kids while we aren't able to physically be with them. Our second graders are going to have to miss two huge events for them and it truly breaks my heart to think that they are going to miss out on such fun things that they've worked so hard for.
One of the best part of my days is the morning hellos and afternoon goodbyes I get from my kiddos. They can be a loud, opinionated, bright bunch...but they're mine and I'm going to miss them like crazy.
Hopefully they won't mind seeing my mug on a screen instead of in real life.
I know that while I'm not with them, I'll be thinking about them. I'll be praying for them. (And their new teacher-parents!) And I'll be waiting until I get to see them again.
Hopefully you all have someone to reach out to and lean on during this time. Find your people. Love them hard. Ask them questions. Support them.
I'm here, too.
We got this.
Sunday, July 28, 2019
I'm Tired Already
Everything is (not) Fine
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