This is not a fun, happy post. This will most likely not make you feel good about your job. Unless your job isn't teaching, then you probably feel fine already so what the hell are you even doing here?
I have not posted to this blog since summer of 2021 and even then it was just a fun "these are cool things I like in my classroom". Actually, I haven't posted to my book review blog either, but that's mostly because I am very, very tired and don't get a lot of reading and writing done.
Back to this post.
This job is hard. I've talked about this before. I have posts titled this. But I have not felt so defeated as I've had in the past two years. I have not felt like this job has been too hard until now. (I'm actually tearing up as I write this but it could be the second beer or PMS.)
I remember my first post about teaching was in response to my feelings about a comment on a friend's Facebook post. It was about teaching the day after Halloween and how hard it is.
People don't understand that teaching is not all fun and games and days off. I don't get "paid for the summer", I stretch my salary out for the months I don't work. I don't work 7:30-3:30. I bring work home and tutor in the morning and afternoon to make extra money because teacher pay is absolute shit.
I answer parent emails after hours because I care about my kids but also I have anxiety about leaving things left unsaid, unread, undone. That anxiety has only increased since the beginning of the pandemic and I'm sure it isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
I love my job. I really, truly do. There are so many amazing moments in teaching. I have a fun group of kids who aren't always perfect but we make it work. Sometimes we're all cranky one day and the next day we're fine and dandy.
It is 100% never, ever easy. A lot of people think that my class of high achievers is a walk in the park. It's not. Like I said, we have our days.
Emotions run high in most classrooms. We can all tell as we walk down the hall and I know it's not just my school. It's got to be everywhere, right? After all, we're all in this together.
When you think about it, students in my 2nd grade have never had a "normal" year of school. In kindergarten they were quarantine, or "crisis" learning, in first grade they were hybrid. Some of my students this year never stepped foot in school last year. This year is our "normal" year.
But...do we wear masks? Or do we not? Are we playing catch-up or are we okay? Social emotional learning? Growth? Behavior? Friendships? How can I be kind to others and myself?
Honestly, these things apply to adults as well. I have plenty of friends on social media and in real life who are just now returning to their offices or whose companies have decided to let them work from home. Teachers, like healthcare workers, did not get that option. We've been here since day one. We've adjusted schedules, classrooms, lunches, recess, seating charts, and the list goes on and on... to try and keep everyone safe and healthy.
We've put cleaning supplies on our wish lists. Our hands are dry from hand sanitizer and Lysol wipes. We worry about getting sick and spreading it. Do we take off of work or do we suck it up? Are there subs? (The answer is always no.) We create seating charts for the classroom and lunch.
Teachers are desperately trying to do the best thing for kids. Florida has introduced new standards this year, we've gotten a new curriculum. We are working overtime to get shit done. It's not easy. We're tired.
Does anyone who doesn't work in a school truly know what it's like? I'm getting a little teary again just thinking about it. I have always very strongly felt that teaching is my calling, and I still believe that. I love to learn. I love the spark that kids get when they understand something. I love working with a team of people who believe the same thing I do. I love my school.
Thousands of teachers have left this profession for many reasons and it is only going to get harder. As social media and technology take over it is so easy for things to be said and spread and argued over. It makes it easy to share opinions without thinking who we are hurting or what the outcome is going to be.
Honestly, this is one, if not the biggest problem of teaching. Everyone wants instant gratification and it's just not feasible. We're teachers, not wizards. Sorry.
One of my favorite sayings is "be kind, you never know what someone else is going through". There are so many things we keep bottled up, especially teachers. We do a good job, for the most part, of putting on a smile for our kids. When I'm tired and stressed or flubbing words during a lesson I play it off as a joke, let my kids laugh, and put a smile back on. Not every profession has to do that. Not every job has to pretend that everything is fine all day so kids don't think you're upset with them or just upset in general.
Teaching has never been easy but these past couple of years have been brutal. In the words of Adele, go easy on us. It's not over yet and we're trying to keep it together.
