Just Eat Pie

I was listening to the radio this morning, as a normally do on my drive to school, and they asked the question: “When will you do your holiday shopping?”

At first I just rolled my eyes because, hey, I pay good money for no commercials with my satellite radio, so shut up, you know? I'm a snob like that. 

When I got over that I listened to a couple of the answers and was slightly surprised by what I heard. The callers had three choices of answers:

a.)    Thanksgiving Day

b.)    Black Friday

c.)    Cyber Monday

Both of the answers I listened to said “Cyber Monday” because Thanksgiving Day is a day to be with your family.

Hear that, America? Be. With. Your. Family. (No matter how much you loathe them. Also, if you’re my family…I love you?)

Besides, Thanksgiving is a day for stuffing your face and taking naps! Is standing in line waiting to buy stuff you don't need better than that? No. Thanksgiving is, if I do say so myself, the BEST HOLIDAY EVER.

So why why why do you need to leave the comfort of some family members couch and go buy a giant screen television when you could be goofing off with some people you kind of like?

Because we’re crazy, that’s why. It’s some nutso need to believe we’re getting the best deal that makes us get up before the sun, stand in line with strangers, push, yell, and fight our way to that last pair of Jingle Jammies even though they’re an XXL but OMG WE NEED THEM.        

No, you don’t need them. Chill out and read some stats from Black Friday 2012 (source: the internet, just Google it):

Total amount of money spent: $59,100,000,000

Amount per person: $423

37% of American adults will go shopping on Friday. That’s 1 in 3 of us!

That’s a lot of money and a lot of people. It’s nuts to think that you need something that bad that you will wait in line for days (there are already tents pitched in front of Best Buy, guys) to buy something for the same price that it will be in a couple of weeks. This is true: I worked retail for a very long time.

I worked at Old Navy from June 2003 to March 2013. If my math is right, that’s nine Black Fridays. That’s eighty or so hours standing at a register, arguing about signs, apologizing for lack of product, and so on…this really happens and it’s horrible. Being in retail on Black Friday these days is terrifying because you don’t know what people will do to get what they want.

Truest story ever.

When I first started working retail Black Friday was fun and exciting! My first year I think the store opened at 7AM. SEVEN. That’s crazy, right? What time do stores open on Black Friday, now?

Oh, yeah…some of them don’t even close! Or they open at midnight. One of the local malls starts at 10PM on Thanksgiving Day!

That’s not even Friday!

Seriously, people…stay home. That’s all I can tell you.

It’s not worth it. You don’t need that waffle iron that bad. Those jeans will still be there the next day. Really? That television? Those gadgets? That game? Just say no, kids.

Eat some turkey, take a nap, bother your family.

That’s what Thanksgiving is all about.

Well, that and pie. 

I like pie. 

I Deserve My Summer Vacation

I was pretty mad yesterday. Like, angry mad, not crazy mad. Not a lot of things actually make me angry, you know. I can see some of you rolling your eyes, but it’s true. I just look like I’m angry. I can’t help it, it’s just my resting face.

Jeremy Renner has an A+ resting face. Also, he's adorable.

But anyways, here’s what happened:

A comment was made on a friend's Facebook status about having to work the day after Halloween and it went like this: “You get summers off and all that vacation time!”

Pardon me while I slap you via the internet.

First off, the complaint was not that she had to work, but that she had to work the day after Halloween.

Okay, do you have kids? Were they up late? Did you feed them candy for breakfast and then ship them off to school? (If that was you, I will find you.) But really, kids are crazy enough as it is…kids the day after Halloween? Goodbye everything you had planned.

So, here’s what makes me mad: YOU GET SUMMERS OFF AND ALL THAT VACATION TIME.

I get that a lot of people work 365, 24/7, blahblahblah, okay? I’m not knocking anyone else’s profession here, so don’t look at me that way. What really gets my goat is that people think that teachers just play around for ten months, get two off plus weekends and holidays and our lives are sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns.

In reality, I’m pretty sure there are more tears and wine than sunshine and rainbows, if you catch my drift.

Teaching is hard. Again, not knocking anyone else’s career choice. I admire almost every other job and know that people have it rough, okay? I need to get that out there so you all don't think I'm a jerk. I just don’t think that a lot of people actually know how hard teaching is.

Sure, I make lesson plans and get to do fun stuff and get a lot of hugs, but do you think it ends there?

I win "Last Teacher Standing" this week, okay? I mean, IT'S DARK.

There are meetings, meltdowns, grading, meetings, colleagues, parents, grading, and oh, did I mention meetings? Phone calls, paperwork, assemblies, clubs, tutoring, reteaching, reassessing, reevaluating, rebooting (coffee break!) and all within the twenty minutes you call your lunch break.

Then! Then I take stuff home. I mean, mostly my cat just lays on things when I take it home, but sometimes it gets graded, okay?

This is what my weekend looks like. Clearly I'm on top of things.

Honestly, though…the stuff I (re: teachers) take home is more mental than physical. It’s emotional. It’s the kids you can’t reach or the ones who don’t care. The kids who have a horrible home life and you’re the only bit of hope they have. The ones who eat their only meal at school and wear dirty clothes.

Teaching is hard. It’s not all fun and games. There are those things, but mostly it’s just about trying to succeed in world where people criticize you, question everything you do, and don’t think about what’s important: kids. They are what matter and if I put my heart and soul into them for ten months out of the year, I, and every other teacher, deserve a break every now and then.

So, yeah. I get summers off. I’m sorry you don’t.

But I’m not sorry, so there.

It’s not my fault you didn’t choose a career where you get summer vacations, now is it?